Parent jokes

This is why orphans are dangerous with cardboard. They either start eating it or making it into a house and hallucinating that they have a family.

So I threw out the cardboard and said, "You have to stay in reality. Fantasies aren't real. You can't and will never get a home."

Next day, they make cardboard parents, so I threw that away and said, "Pay attention to reality; you will never get parents."

Next day, they start acting like parents and tell me what to do. Again, I said, "Snap to reality. You will never be a parent!" The orphan responded with, "Oh, really?! How so?" I just simply said, "You don't have a house and parents. You literally like eating cardboard, and then you make parents out of it. You like to eat old people!"

Little Johnny went to school and right before class started, he pulled down his pants and said, "Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy." After that, his teacher told him to put on his pants and go to the office. The principal asked him what he did, so he pulled down his pants and said, "Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy." Then the principal called his mom. The mom got there and took little Johnny home.

They got in the car, and his mother asked, "Johnny, what did you do this time?" So Johnny pulled his pants and said, "Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy." Once they got home, his dad was off work and heard that Johnny was coming home early from school. Once again he asked Johnny what he did. Johnny pulled down his pants and said, "Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy." After that, his dad was surprised, so his dad pulled down his pants and said, "Big whale, big whale."

Why aren't orphans scared of getting in trouble at school?

Because they can't call their parents.

An orphan once said, "I will call my mum and go home."

A homeless kid once said he will go home.

What does an orphan call a family portrait?

A selfie.

What should orphans do when their parents aren’t there? The usual.

I asked the orphan why he was crying. He didn't really say anything.

Then I asked where are your parents? He cried more. I love working at the orphanage.

Why do orphans hate mitosis cells?

They have parents.

Why can't orphans play video games?

Because they don't have their parent's email.

What's the difference between a paralyzed kid and a father?

The father gets to leave, while the kid stays.

I love when I could run through the grass and feel the wind on my face.

Then my mom told me to get off VR, and then I wheeled myself to her.

I'm 17, right? Anyways, the other day my parents told me a joke they made 17 years ago, but they still haven't told the joke yet.

I went to visit my childhood home. I asked the owners if I could come in for some nostalgic memories. They said no and slammed the door on me. My parents are so mean.

What does Buzz Lightyear and an orphan's parents have in common?

They go to infinity and beyond.

Parent: My parents never attended my birthdays.

Birthday girl: Oh wow!

Parent: Anyone missing?

Birthday girl: Your parents.

What is cold and alone?

An orphan's parent.

I pushed an orphan and they said, "I'm telling!" I asked, "Telling who? Your parents?"

Why are kids so skinny?

Parents eat all the food themselves, and let the kids starve.

"Knock, knock.""Who's there?""Not your dad."Random kid: "My dad went to get milk. My mom said he will be back soon."

What do grapes 🍇 love most about family?

Raisin kids!