Parent

Parent jokes

Orphan

This is why orphans are dangerous with cardboard. They either start eating it or making it into a house and hallucinating that they have a family.

So I threw out the cardboard and said, "You have to stay in reality. Fantasies aren't real. You can't and will never get a home."

Next day, they make cardboard parents, so I threw that away and said, "Pay attention to reality; you will never get parents."

Next day, they start acting like parents and tell me what to do. Again, I said, "Snap to reality. You will never be a parent!" The orphan responded with, "Oh, really?! How so?" I just simply said, "You don't have a house and parents. You literally like eating cardboard, and then you make parents out of it. You like to eat old people!"

Johnny

Little Johnny went to school and right before class started, he pulled down his pants and said, "Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy." After that, his teacher told him to put on his pants and go to the office. The principal asked him what he did, so he pulled down his pants and said, "Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy." Then the principal called his mom. The mom got there and took little Johnny home.

They got in the car, and his mother asked, "Johnny, what did you do this time?" So Johnny pulled his pants and said, "Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy." Once they got home, his dad was off work and heard that Johnny was coming home early from school. Once again he asked Johnny what he did. Johnny pulled down his pants and said, "Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy." After that, his dad was surprised, so his dad pulled down his pants and said, "Big whale, big whale."

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  • Orphan

    Why do kids like to pick on orphans?

    Because they can't call their parents.

    Shooting

    If a homeschooled kid shoots his parents, does that count as a school shooting?

    Memes

    Guy

    Popular guy in class: I am so funny.

    Me: Your parents are funny as they made a joke and people are still laughing at it.

    Orphan

    An orphan once said, "I will call my mum and go home."

    A homeless kid once said he will go home.

    Kid

    What's the difference between a paralyzed kid and a father?

    The father gets to leave, while the kid stays.

    Home

    I went to visit my childhood home. I asked the owners if I could come in for some nostalgic memories. They said no and slammed the door on me. My parents are so mean.

    Orphan

    Me calling the orphan kid from school: "Hello, are your parents home?"

    The orphan kid: *starts sobbing* "STOP CALLING HERE!"

    Orphan

    Why aren't orphans scared of getting in trouble at school?

    Because they can't call their parents.

    Birthday

    Parent: My parents never attended my birthdays.

    Birthday girl: Oh wow!

    Parent: Anyone missing?

    Birthday girl: Your parents.

    Orphan

    What do you call it when an orphan goes to Panera Bread?

    "Panera, my parents are dead."

    Orphan

    What does Buzz Lightyear and an orphan's parents have in common?

    They go to infinity and beyond.

    Christmas

    I love it when your parents come round for Christmas. I just wish we couldn't hear them through the ceiling.