Parent jokes
Your hairline and your eyebrows are like your parents, separated.
How do Asian parents name their baby?
They drop a pot down a flight of stairs.
What do you call a parent that is pregnant?
Buy one, get one free.
How do you know if an Asian is a failure?
Figure it out, because they'll all tell you their parents said they were a failure from birth.
I asked my kid to give me a hand. That motherfucker cried while charging his mechanical arm.
Memes
Sharpness V belt
Why was the orphan stupid?
Because his parents couldn't guide him.
Me: Hi Jacob!
Jacob: Hi.
Me: Your parents went to jail for littering when you were born!
Jacob: GOO GOO GAH GAH
Q: Why was the 4 year old anti-vaxer crying?
A: He was in a mid-life crisis.
I shouted at a kid. I told him to get his parents.
It was the last time I worked at an orphanage, 🤣.
Why did the orphan sit alone in the corner?
They wanted some family time.
My parents found my YT channel. I hate myself now, and I'm emotional.
SELF HARM
My daughter has been writing letters asking Satan for gifts. Imagine my shock when I realized she has dyslexia.
If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
What song do supportive parents of a closeted child love?
“The Son Will Come Out Tomorrow.”
Kid: What is an orphan's favorite breakfast?
Teacher: What?
Kid: Fruity Pebbles with water.
Teacher: Why water?
Kid: 'Cause his dad never came back with the milk.
Why did the mummy leave his tomb after 3000 years?
Because he thought he was old enough to leave home.
That is one of the very, very, very, very, VERY WORST jokes ever.
Why do kids like to pick on orphans?
Because they can't call their parents.
What's the difference between a paralyzed kid and a father?
The father gets to leave, while the kid stays.
Me calling the orphan kid from school: "Hello, are your parents home?"
The orphan kid: *starts sobbing* "STOP CALLING HERE!"
What do you call it when an orphan goes to Panera Bread?
"Panera, my parents are dead."