Parent jokes
If someone is mean to an orphan just say, "I will call your mum," and make them cry even more.
When you get home and see your parents with your grades in their hands.
Twenty minutes later, they're slapping you with the belt.
How do Chinese people get their names? Their parents throw woks down the stairs and name their children after the sound it makes.
Mom: Son, where are my condoms?
Son: What are condoms?
Dad: She puts it on me and the sandwich.
Son: Wait, why did my girlfriend come over and take one?
Dad: Um, I don't know, but go to bed.
Son: But it's 2:46pm in the afternoon, bruh.
I saw a kid wearing tatty rags on a curb, so I asked, "Are you an orphan?"
"Yes," he replied. "What gave me away?" He asked, "Your parents," I said.
A teacher in Scunthorpe asks a class what their favorite football team is, saying, "Raise your hand if it is Scunthorpe." Every student but one raised their hand. The teacher asks, "Why don't you support Scunthorpe?" The child answers, "My parents support Grimsby, and so do I." The teacher comes back with, "Why are you copying your parents? What if your mum was a prostitute and your dad a druggie?" The child answers, "Then I'd support Scunthorpe like you dirty bastards!"
Dad: No, Timmy, you don't have to worry, there is no monster sleeping under your bed, it sleeps every night in the bed next to me.
Why do orphans die when a tornado comes?
They don't have parents to protect them.
I told an orphan to never stop talking until their parents come home.
Now I can’t get it to shut up.
Why is Harry Potter an orphan's favorite character?
Because Harry Potter has no parents, so it’s relatable.
Why can't an orphan sign up for adoption websites?
Parental Login: __________
What is a cannibal's favorite place to go? An orphanage. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
As siblings, we always joke about being adopted. It stops being funny when you're playing in your parents' room and find both of your adoption papers. : )
"Knock, knock.""Who's there?""Not your dad."Random kid: "My dad went to get milk. My mom said he will be back soon."
Guys, this has to stop. Let's tell their parents. Oh wait...
I would make a dad joke, but I don't have a dad to joke about.
What do orphans have in common with mute children?
They can't talk to their parents.
What's worse than a failed suicide, you ask?
I fail suicide because you forgot to do the dishes and your parents come after you and they're the ones to kill you, not yourself.
The orphan asked a genie to become Batman. Then he went home and saw his parents dead.
God, I love telling children their parents love them, but only on April Fools'. They're orphans, after all.