Parent

Parent Jokes

Adoption

When you can’t see your adopted joke pop up, it’s the same as asking your adopted friend where their parents are and never finding it.

Orphan

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?

Tell him to clap until his parents come home.

Orphan

Kidnapper: Hey kid, your mom told me to follow me.

Orphan: But I don't have a mom!

Orphan

Why are orphans always sad?

Because their parents aren't there to cheer them up.

Orphan

Why do orphans love violent video games like GTA?

They never had parents to protect them from it.

Orphan

What is soccer like when you lose your soccer ball?

Orphan: "My Parents."

Yard

Where did Sally go during the bombings? Everywhere!

Why didn’t the parents bother looking for her? Because she was in the front and back yard in small chunks! 😂

Son

Son: Mom, what's dark humor?

Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.

Son: Mom, I'm blind.

Mom: Exactly.

Orphan

Why can't an orphan get caught on the hub? They have no parents to catch them.

Orphan

"Uh daddy harder," the orphan said. Oh wait, he doesn’t have a daddy.

Machine

What has ten children crying, naked, and screaming for their parents?

My big green pedo machine.

Orphan

A handicapped person and an orphan get into a fight. The orphan says, "At least I have two functional legs." The handicapped person says, "At least I have two functional parents."

Orphan

Me: You know your parents were very good people.

Orphan: Wow, I didn’t know that.

Me: I know, you're an orphan.

Orphan

I saw a kid crying yesterday, and I asked him, "Where are your parents?" Then he started crying harder.