Doctor , Doctor, I feel like a pair of Curtains ! what 's wrong with me! calm down calm down Just pull yourself together
Why do golfers always bring a spare pair of pants?
Because they always get a hole in one!
A pregnant woman enters the hospital with her concerned husband. As she goes into labor, a group of doctors asked him if he would like to try a device that transfers your spouse's pain to the father's nervous system. He agrees and the doctors turn to dial on the device to 10%. Strangely, the man felt little pain. They continued to adjust the dial until it stopped at 100%, yet the man felt nothing. Later on, the wife had delivered the baby the pair left the hospital with a healthy baby only to find the milkman laying on their stairs with a puddle of blood around his head, shaking uncontrollably.
What instrument do a pair of sheep play, The two-baaaa
I got a new pair of gloves today, but they're both 'lefts' which, on one hand, is great, but on the other, it's just not right.
I helped my son (who is missing his arms) unwrap his christmas present ungrateful bastard just sits there and cries, and it's a pair of mittens. the ungrateful bastard is just sitting there, crying.
2 gay kids made their version of the jack,and jill nursery rhyme. jack and jill went up the hill to fetch a pair of latte's.
A pedophile is playing poker with 8 seven year olds. The pedophile has a pair of 7's and three 4's in the river. He smiles and says yay i i got me a full house.
What did the kid with no arms get for Christmas? A pair of gloves! Nah, I’m not that mean, he’s still trying to open his presents.
what was the Roman Empire cut in half by?
a pair of Ceasars.
A pair of souls were floating up to heaven when they passed a pair of eagles. Ah, eagles, said the souls. The eagles were too polite to say anything.
Jim and Allyn are 2 mates in the Air Force. They were paired up for a training exersice. They got up into the air and Jim said, "okay Allyn, your helmet can control the missile when launched from the jet. Go ahead and test fire a missile and aim it at anything you want." Allyn fired the missile and had his eyes set on an abandoned building. Jim then said, "I also forgot, watch out for friendly fire." Allyn said "what?" As he looked over at Jim.
what do you call a twinkie with two pairs of pants? double trousers
How do you cut ancient Rome in half?
With a pair of Caesars.
Why does Trump always ensure he has a second pair of pants with him every weekend?
In case he get a hole in one.
Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? - In case he got a hole in one.
