I’m not funny! Please do not laugh at my jokes! But do check them out, they’re very unpredictable. Read them, do not laugh, they’re jokes, do not laugh at them!
Someone: hah- Me: NO DON’T YOU DARE!😠😠
Outing Jokes
What's the first thing that a battered woman does when she gets out of the shelter?
My last if she knows what's good for her.
There was a guy I knew who owned a foot-high piano player.
He had found a magic lamp and rubbed it. The genie popped out and gave him one wish.
The guy thinks the genie was a bit deaf, as all he got was a 12" pianist.
Simpsons.
Meet the Simpsons.
They're the greatest modern family.
From the town of Springfield.
They're a page right out of history.
Your hairline jokes are so bad that they make me want to rip all my hair out.
I just figured out the "X" in Max stands for the button on Tinder every girl wants to press when they see him.
When the driver ran out of fuel, what kind of gasoline did he use? Grassoline.
I dreamed about drowning in an ocean made out of orange soda last night.
It took me a while to work out it was just a Fanta sea.
Yo mama is so ugly, she scared the sh*t out of the toilet.
A boi found a magic vase and a genie came out and told him he had one wish. The boy said, "I wanna be like Batman." The genie said, "OK, your wish is granted."
The boy came home later that day and his parents were dead.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Fishes.
Fishes who?
Fishes the police, come out with your hands up!
Yo mama's so ugly, she went into a haunted house......
And came back out with a job application, then that ran away *CAUSE SHE'S A UGLY FUCK*
Two friends wanting to find out if their buddy was gay.
The two walked up to their buddy and said, "Get down!" and he kneeled down.
Stick your head up someone's butt. What do you get? A Butthead!
"Get your butt out of my face!"
"Then get your face out of my butt!!!"
When a person went to a restaurant, they died once they were in. Three people were a suspect. Two were suspected because she served the food. Turns out, it was the food!
Yo mama so fat that when Thanos tried to snap her out of the world, he couldn't do it, so instead, he clapped her out of the world.
Two gay men walk into a bar. One of them turned to the other and said, "Hey, what do you say we get out of here?"
How does he go for a poo? He logs out.
What’s a rapper’s favorite computer key?
The space bar... it lets them space out their rhymes!
Yo mama so hairy, when the baby came out, the baby died because of carpet burning!
