Me in 2078 when the COVID-19 delta alpha theta beta cya layta alligayta nlgga chungus sussy deef clussy sussy bussy cunnybrap variant comes out and I need to stay in lockdown for another 2 years with my new mandated virus stopper buttplug 9000
Hey, I just found out my toaster is waterproof! :D
Is your ass jealous of the shit that came out of your fucking mouth?
YO MAMA! Yo mama so ugly... when she went to the haunted house... she came out... WITH A JOB APPLICATION
The poacher agrees but says that his assistant is ill and will need the man to come with him in his assistant's place. The man agrees, and so the poacher goes out to the jungle with the man.
The poacher brings a pair of handcuffs, a long stick, a shotgun, and a dog. They search through the jungle for about an hour and then spot a male gorilla above in the treetops.
The man asks the poacher what the plan is. The poacher replies, "I'm going to climb the tree and, when I get close enough, I'm going to start poking the gorilla with the stick until it falls out of the tree.
The dog is a specially trained dog. When the gorilla falls out of the tree, the dog will try to bite off the gorilla's balls. When the gorilla moves its hands to protect its balls, you put the handcuffs on it."
This all seems to make sense to the man, but he has one question. "What is the shotgun for?" he asks the poacher. The poacher responds: "If I fall out of the tree before the gorilla, shoot the dog."
I would take out the trash but my mom said u werent ready!!! XD
Your mother is responsible for all the train drivers that are never ever late. She taught them all to pull out on time.
What does a piece of gum and a gun have in common?
You pull one out, everyone wants to be your friend.
Guys, we gotta stop telling these jokes. They are getting out of h- oh wait no .... Continue.
Yo daddy so stupid, he threw a Father’s Day party at the orphanage.
What did the Catholic priest say to the other Catholic priest as they entered the orphanage? Let’s us prey.
How does Michael Jackson pick his nose? Out of a catalogue 😁
Haven't had sex since I got out of jail; although sex in jail wasn't that great, either.
Little Johnny walked into an ice cream shop and asked: "Do you have chocolate filled ice cream?"
The man replies: "We are out of that, sorry, we are almost out of every single flavor, do you want me to get you a vanilla filled one?"
Johnny replies: "Sure."
After that, the man asks for Johnny's phone and goes to back of the store. 5 minutes later, the man comes with an ice cream and Johnny's phone.
Johnny asks: "How much for the ice cream?"
The man replies: "Nothing, it's on the house."
After Johnny ate his delicious ice cream, he searched for his watch history. And then Johnny realized the flavor of the ice cream.
What do you call two emos spending time together? Hanging out.
what did one emo say to another emo... rock it out
What happens when an orphan is told that someone had found their parents? They cry... They scream.. with joy "Oh wait, no, that wasn't your parents" Orphan grabs a knife out of the kitchen, lets just say, the orphan didnt live to tell the tail...
I rate my dad as pilot 9 out of 11
Bro, I love hanging out with bullies. It's either we play Yahtzee or we playing Nazi.
The biggest inconvenience in 2001, I thought, was my brother. Turns out it was 9/11. I guess the planes saw him be born and died from how ugly he was. Aluh aluckbar.
I found alien in my backyard I put him to work. He went to farm never seen him again moments later he is on daily planet acting as reporter a green rock smashed my house. I called him back he passed out.
I remarked you lazy
What did Nemo say to the emo?
"Be careful, you can't Nemo your way out of emo."
