Outing jokes
What's the difference between a prostitute and a Democrat? A Democrat will keep screwing you when you run out of money.
What's the difference between a prostitute and a Democrat? A prostitute will stop screwing you when you run out of money.
Sometimes, you've got to specifically go out of your way to get into trouble. It's called fun.
How do skyscrapers make friends?
They reach out.
Why do teenage girls hang out in odd-numbered groups?
Because they can't even.
When prostitutes misbehave, do their pimps make them stand out on the corner with a "For Rent" sign on their crotch?
I found out how to gain millions of followers.
Run through Africa with a bottle of water.
What did Spiderman say on September 11th, 2001?
"Look out, Here comes the Spiderman!"
Why is it that every time I masturbate, things get out of hand?
What does a burnt pizza, cold beer, and a pregnant woman have in common?
Someone didn’t pull it out in time.
How would negotiations between Putin and Zelensky play out?
QUEUE THE MUSIC
BANG BANG INTO THE ROOM I KNOW U WANT IT
What’s a reverse exorcism?
It’s when the demon tells the priest to get out of the child.
Did you hear about the nun that got kicked out of the convent?
She got caught squatting on the cucumbers in the garden.
Did you hear about the nun that got kicked out of the convent?
She got caught squatting on the cucumbers in the garden.
Say what you want about Jeffrey Epstein, but at least he knew how to take out the trash.
Mom: Clean your room! Me: No, it’s my room, and I don’t want to clean it. Mom: You are nothing like Mrs. Smith’s daughter. Me: Well, I’m not Mrs. Smith’s daughter now, am I? You are the worst. Why are you trying to compare me with Mrs. Smith’s daughter? I’m not her, OK? I am not her, so stop! Mom: Do you know what? I pushed you out of my hula for 43 minutes! Do not make me hate you, because guess what? I brought you into the world, and I can take you out of it! Me: Bro.
This guy goes to a bar and pulls out a little guy playing the piano. The bartender asks him where he got a small man with a piano.
The guy points outside to a genie granting people wishes. The bartender runs out and 1 million ducks appear.
The bartender yells at the genie saying, “Are you fucking deaf? I asked for 1 million bucks, not 1 million bucks!”
The guy from the bar says, “No shit! You think I really asked for a 12-inch pianist?”
Your mom has quite the mouth on her.
As I found out last night. Oh, what a night!! 😏 😉 😜
I was lying on the living room carpet the other day with my girlfriend on top of me in wings and a tutu, making out.
I called her the Fallen Angel.
ISIS recently brought out their own shampoo: HEAD AND SOLDIERS.