Otherness jokes
The cannibal says to the other cannibal, "I like it when humans fall from the sky because then they are meateor."
Why don't gay men perform anilingus on each other in Greece?
Because anilingus is against the law in Greece.
Q: What did the DNA say to the other DNA?
A: Do these genes make my butt look fat? đ©
What did the skeleton say when the other skeleton lied to him?
"You can't lie to me! I can see right through you!"
"Banjo players spend half their lives tuning... and the other half out of tune."
I'm a banjo picker, and I can confirm this is 99% true.
Memes
I was in Alabama last year. I walked into a store and noticed a couple kissing each other, and I said, "Excuse me, where is the bathroom?" and the man said, "Right over there." I went into the bathroom and then heard the girl say, "Dad, I have to go to school soon!"
A guy sits at a bar in a skyscraper restaurant high above the city. He slams a shot of tequila, goes over to the window, and jumps out.
The guy sitting next to him canât believe what he just saw. Heâs more surprised when, 10 minutes later, the same guy walks back into the bar and sits down next to him.
The astonished onlooker asks, âHow did you do that? I just saw you jump out the window, and weâre hundreds of feet above the ground!â
The jumper responds by slurring, âWell, I donât get it either. I slam a shot of tequila, and when I jump out the window, the tequila makes me slow down right before I hit the ground. Watch.â He takes a shot, goes to the window, and jumps out.
The other guy runs to the window and watches as the guy falls to just above the sidewalk, slows down, and lands softly on his feet. A few minutes later, the jumper walks back into the bar.
The other guy has to try it, too, so he orders a shot of tequila. He slams it and jumps out the window. As he reaches the bottom, he doesnât slow down at all. SPLAT!
The first guy orders another shot of tequila. The bartender shakes his head. âYouâre really an a**hole when youâre drunk, Superman.â I know.
I have an account at the website Memedroid.
My name is J0K35FromWJE.
Feel free to follow me, and I WILL upload to Memedroid (I might not upload daily).
I will still make jokes here jlyk (just letting you know).
Ok here's your joke now...
What did one pizza say to the other when they were in bed?
"Can I have a pizza that ass?"
You walk into an old, run-down house and you see that a light is on. You walk over to the light and you see blood all over the room, and you run to the exit to leave, but when you get to the door, somehow it is locked from the outside and you have no choice but to go into the house more. You see another room with a light on, so you go in. When you go in, "flip," all the lights go off, then you see a bright light and then a screen shows up and it says, "Let the game show begin." You see other people next to you and they seem scared, then a wall comes down, you see optical cords and you go on, and then a chainsaw comes at you and it misses you, but the other kid behind you gets hit and dies.
Part two coming soon. This is inspired by the SCP Foundation. Have a nice summer.
On a bus, a priest sat next to a drunk who was struggling to read a newspaper.
Suddenly, with a slurred voice, the drunk asked the priest:
"Do you know what arthritis is?"
The parish priest soon thought of taking the opportunity to lecture the drunk and replied:
"It's a disease caused by sinful and unruly life: excess, consumption of alcohol, drugs, marijuana, crack, and certainly lost women, prostitutes, promiscuity, sex, binges, and other things I dare not say."
The drunk widened his eyes, shut up, and continued reading the newspaper.
A little later the priest, thinking that he had been too hard on the drunk, tried to soften:
"How long have you had arthritis?"
"I don't have arthritis! It says here in the paper that the Pope has it."
Not a joke; just a statement:
Everything on here is unoriginal! đ But just because every word on here is unoriginal, it doesnât change the way we feel. Our feelings are the only thing that is original because our feelings are our own. Even though others have the same or similar feelings! Our feelings are still our own. And sharing those feelings with words spoken from another just means we are NOT ALONE in our feelings.
Why did the Orphan punch the other orphan?
Because the orphan broke his leg then had to get a retirement fund, so then he farted and got 1m dollars in cash, so then he started eating his toe jam and thought it tasted really good, so he started selling it to Taco Bell, then ate a cow. All the sudden he was attacked by hangry aliens then gave them some toe jam. They loved it, so they farted there way back up to space where they were eating Harold's fresh toe jam. It was so good, then one of the aliens ate there dog, so had to go the dollar tree to get it out then started gagging on one of the aliens' 2 meter defeater, and then the Orphan made out with the other Orphan and had a wedding at playground sharting happily ever after.
Hello! I'm Taylor, and this is my life story with me and my ex girl. So when I was little, I met this girl. Her name was Leah. We were besties for a while until I turned 13. Then I asked if she wanted to date me. She said yes!
But one day, in the middle of school, she was talking to another man!!!!!!! AND THEY HUGGED AND KISSED EACH OTHER ON THE CHEEK!!!!!! Then, she told me she hated me. I was so upset!!!!!!!! Whatever you do, don't follow the ugly rat!!!!!!!!! <3
I was eating this girl out the other day and I tasted horse semen... I looked up at the girl and said âthatâs how you died, grandma!â
What did one cat say to the other? Happy "meow"!
Whatâs the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson?
One was famous for walking on the moon, (pause), the other fucked young boys.
My girlfriend said she's having a horrible time with her period. I ask her which one, but realize she's not talking about school...
We don't see each other very much.
What did the traffic light say to the other?
"Hey, stop looking at me! I'm changing!"
Whatâs the difference between an orphan and a watermelon?
One is fun to hit with a sledge hammer, and the other one is just a watermelon.
What did one cheek say to the other cheek?
"It is a squash in here!"