what do orphans and apples have in common
only one gets picked
Whats one plus one
Yo mama
Once there was a woman who had a husband and a dog, the husband dies. The dog would always sleep under the bed and when the woman would go to sleep, she'd put her hand down and the dog would like it to say she/he was alright. One night it was thunder storming. She put her hand down and the dog licked normally. She heard the dog whimper so she put her hand down like normal, as the dog always does he/she likes her hand.
Then she heard dripping coming from the bathroom so she went to go stop the leaking that might be coming from the tap. But the tap wasn't on, nor was it dripping. She turns on the light and looks up at the roof to see if the roof was leaking but turns out her dog was hung by its head above the bathtub.
On the mirror it said, "Humans can like too", in the dogs blood.
This is a true story, don't be afraid to look it up!
pilot: *over intercom* we're all going to die.
passengers: *start freaking out*
pilot: all of us will one day, no one knows when.
passengers: *sigh with relief*
pilot: but it'll probably be when we hit that mountain.
Me: *gets down on one knee*
Girlfriend: OMG, it's finally happening!
Me: *falls over*
Girlfriend: The poison is kicking in.
me: how many letters are in the alphabet? that one friend: 11- T-H-E-- A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T
Why is the white man in prison scarier than the black one? The White one actually did it
3 guys are standing in an alley on an alien planet and the psycho one says "However many tits your girl has is how many balls you have"
The first guy says "Ha! My girlfriend has 6! I'm racked up!" The second guy said "Eh, I am happy with 2 balls" The third guy said "Shit! My girlfriend is flat as fuck!"
A guy listening in enters and says "Bro you actually have girlfriends. I do not. Does that mean I have a pussy?:
I like my girlfriends new secondary school uniform, I guess, but doesn’t beat her old primary school one 😀
I ate the emo emo no mi from one piece it gave me the powers of black hair, depression, and suicidal thoughts.
You are shore to find loads of jokes funny even if I can’t kelp you find the right ones. Loads of jokes are funny as I’m shore you shall sea
the youngest of the twin towers said goodbye brotha but the one who got his which is the oldest said....IF I GO DOWN U GO WITH ME
orphans are so unwanted, that when one direction saw one, it went the other direction
why do orphans not know how to spell.
because know one likes them dump people.🤭🤡
One more 360 noscope for my montage
So one day i have a wife but if its getting a longer day she is moving so weird and i see she has sex with rick astley😂 [rickrolled]
Best way to trick your friends:
A brick falls out of a plane.
How do you put an elephant in the fridge? Open the door, put him in, and close the door.
How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? Open the door, take the poor elephant out, put the giraffe in, and close the door.
The animal kingdom is throwing a party, all the animals are there except for one, who? The giraffe, because he's still in the fridge.
Sally needs to cross the river that is known to be filled with deadly crocodiles, but she crossed safely, how? Because the crocodiles are at the party, but Sally still dies after crossing the river, how? Because she was hit by the flying brick.
What’s an orphan’s least favourite drink?
Milk. Because no one came back with any.
What is the difference between the twin towers and the leaning tower of pizza? one held it’s balance the other two fell
How many orphans does it take to repair a house. None, they don't have one
