I'm still wondering who took Jesus' sandals.
Even the one who ate that dove that sat at Jesus' shoulder. đ¤
One Jokes
"Chelsea is the most consistent team.
One win in August, one win in September, and one win in October; it's just like a menstrual cycle.
If they don't win in November, just know that they're pregnant." đ
Your mom! Oh wait, you don't have one.
Bro, the Twin Towers are like my grandpa and his friends. One survivedâmy grandpa. The others have fallenâhis friends.
A few kids were talking about how big their houses were. Kids were pointing to huge houses and huge apartments. One little boy said, "Bet I have the biggest home." To everyone's surprise, he pointed right towards the massive orphanage.
I went to a feminist picnic the other day.
It was great, apart from the fact no one made any sandwiches.
"We are Number one."
I was at a funeral and made a joke. No one laughed, but someone died.
Brinnia so fat when she stepped on a scale, it said, "I need a bigger one."
Your hairline and the universe have one thing in common: theyâre yet to be discovered.
Why do orphans like families? Because they wish they had one.
My dad is really angry at me for kicking the balls. He's the one that told me always aim for them. Is that why I don't have a brother?
It's sad someone has ligma.
No one cares if you bully an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
What's the difference between WW2 kamikaze planes and 9/11?
One of the missions succeeded.
A lion, Johnny Depp, and a hockey player from Nashville all have one thing in common.
They're all Predators!
Why did an old man fall in a well? Because he couldnât see that well!
Why did the actor fall through the floorboards? They were going through a stage!
Why did a scarecrow win a Nobel prize? He was outstanding in his field!
Why are peppers the best at archery? Because they habanero!
What did the duck say after she bought chapstick? Put it on my bill!
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
What did the three-legged dog say when he walked into a saloon? âIâm looking for the man who shot my paw!â
How do you tell the difference between a bull and a cow? It is either one or the udder!
Whatâs red and smells like blue paint? Red paint!
Whatâs the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is very heavy, the other is a little lighter!
Why are friends good at dodgeball? Because no one misses them.
Holy fucking shit, Addison, watersharky, Gwen, and all of you other cringelords, I swear to God if I hear one more thing about "please be kind, no bullying on the internet," I will actually shoot my local school.
You may not know, since you are only 8 years old or whatever, but the world is not kind. Itâs full of sick people out to beat others, and the only way to stay safe is to beat them. So even if you think you are spreading kindness, itâs just gonna make you a target. So just stfu and keep your "please be kind" messages to yourselves.
What does a ripped jacket and a golfer have in common?
They both have a hole in one.
