What starts with M, ends with arriage, and is every guy's favorite thing? Miscarriage.
That one never gets old, just like the baby.
What was one cool thing about hitler
he used to paint his thoughts on the wall with a gun
Teacher: Now class, if you are dumb, please stand up. Class: no one stands up. Teacher: Oh c’mon. I know someone over here is dumb.*waves her finger around the left side of the room* Little Johnny: *stands up* Teacher: Oh, Johnny, you think you’re dumb? Little Johnny: No, I just feel bad you’re standing alone.
gotta number one victory royale
Why is the orphan sad for dinner? He has no one to eat with him at the table
Some kid online : I f*cked your mom Me, an orphan : Jokes on you, I don’t have one!
Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning and his dad was making alot of mistakes. Suddenly his dad screams " bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant and his dad replied " aunts and uncles" Oh. next thing he hears is “dicks and pussies!” Johnny asks " what’s that mean?" To which his dad replied " uh coats and hats." Oh next thing he know he sees his dad jumping around the the bathroom yelling " fucking, fuck,fuck,Fuck" " what does that mean dad?" And his dad yells " cut Johnny, it means cut!!!" Oh. Next week is Thanksgiving and the doorbell rings and Johnny answers it and says " Hey bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, dad’s in the kitchen fucking the turkey.
One rainy day a NASCAR race was going on and they had no other choice but to use this bitches forehead https://sportsrecruits.com/athlete/morgan_tomporowski
The FitnessGramTM Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20-meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.
Level 1 Feel it One Two Three Four Five Six Seven; end of level one
My girlfriend said she's having a horrible time with her period. I ask her which one but relise she's not talking about school...
We don't see each other very much
I have one policy and that is to not make fun of black people. Sorry jesus. You were white in the bible pictures.
one day little johnny saw his grandpa smoking a cigar johnny said can i have puff grandpa said can your dick touch your ass johnny said no then thats your answer later that day johnny saw his grandpa drinking a drink johnny said can i have a sip grandpa said the same thing can your dick touch your ass johnny said no then thats your answer later that night johnny was eating some cookies in the kitchin grandpa said hi son can i have a cookie johnny said can your dick touch your ass grandpa said yes johnny said good go fuck yourself
If i had 10 dyno nuggies and Jamal tried to take one i would have ten dyno nuggies and Jamal's head
What's the difference between a good TV show and a gay man?
One makes your day and one makes your whole week.
Man 1: why don’t we just put all the dept in the world on one man then kill him? Man 2: we tried that once it started a cult
So I had an idea: you and a friend go bar (pub (whatever you call it)) hopping and propose to said friend in each one so everyone buys you free drinks and you get drunk and have a great time
One day Timmy walks in on his mum in the bath. Then he asks “What’s that dark fuzzy thing, mummy?” and mum said “It’s a bush, every girl has one!” Then the next day he walks in on his dad in the shower. So he asks “Daddy, what’s that long thing?” The dad then says “It’s a sexy boy” accidentally. Timmy asks his dad “What does sexy mean?” And the dad says “Your mother, of course.” making it seem like a child-friendly compliment. Then the next day at school Timmy wanted to compliment his teacher. He walks up to her and says “You’re so so sexy!”
Why don’t orphans have phones?? Because there parents can’t buy them one
What's the difference between a GOD and MY MOM. My mom exists. I mean.. she did at one point! unlike any "GODS".
So Biden and the zele and Putin on a plane and the plane losses attitude and goes down but there are 2 parachutes and Putin takes the first one and jumps cause he is a greedy twat so he jumps but then Biden says “you go zele I am much older than you and it is so ok for me to die.” So zele takes the second one and jumps but when he did the plane regains attitude and Biden got to Washington DC all fine.they found out the reason was zele’s steels balls
