Olympics

Olympics Jokes

Gold Medal

How can you be fast and slow at the same time, getting a gold medal in the Special Olympics?

Difference

What is the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler?...

Michael Phelps can finish a race.

Medal

What’s better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics?

Not being retarded.

Book

I don’t get why Katniss was bitching so much in ‘The Hunger Games’ books. Ethiopia has been competing for years and I don’t hear any of them complaining.

Jesus

Why did Jesus die at the diving Olympics? Because he can't go through water.

Potato

What's the difference between a Russian potato and a U.S. potato?

The U.S. potato can still compete in the Special Olympics.

Race

What can an Olympic runner do that Hitler can't?

Finish a race.

Gold

What is better than winning gold at the Para Olympics?

WALKING!

Forehead

I have a friend of mine from school. I always see them with bangs, so I never knew what their forehead looked like until one day they came... Their forehead was bigger than Mount Everest, that you can make an entire Olympics mountain climbing audition on that forehead! :)

Priest

What do a Catholic priest and an Olympic silver medalist have in common? A: They both come in a little behind.

Man

It's the Olympics.

Q) Why did the man decide not to run in his race? A) Because of Olympiad.

American

Why do Americans always win at the shooting Olympics?

Because they train at the best school.

People

Like a lot of people watching the Olympics, I'm wondering why black people don't just take over the earth.

Javelin

A new feature that we are bringing to the Olympics is 3D viewing. So if you're watching the javelin, I would look away now.

Bronze

Have you heard about the tanning Olympics?

Everyone wanted bronze! (This is a lil cringe.)

Bunch

What do you call a bunch of biracial, retarded kids? The Special Olympics.