Eating

Your mom

What the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.😎

Common

Anonymous

What does the 14 year old and the fetus inside her have in common. They both say, “Ohh sh*t my mom is going to kill me.”

Fire

Anonymous

This 15 year old girl wanted a cross on her room with a long nail on the end over her bed unfortunately it killed her dad because it fell off the wall

(Do you get the joke)

(Her dad was on her and it fell and killed him)

Difference

A riddle joke

Little red riding hood has to deliver food to her gramma again. She can drive now because she is sixteen. One the way, she accidentally took the wrong way and got to a different forest where her gramma lives now. She found the wrong cottage that looked liked her gramma’s home. When she opened the door, she found her younger and older sisters of ages 9, 11, 18, and 22. How old is Little red riding hood?

Answer:16

Man

C A R L

Why did the old man fall into the well? He couldn’t see that well

Man

Anonymous

A American goes on a British bus after being in war he wants to sit down so he goes to the back of the bus to sit down but there is a old woman on the seat with her dog in the next the man says will you move your dog the lady says oh you Americans always so demanding and she says to sit some where else he goes through and finds no seats so now he at the back again this time he throws the dog out the window and sits down the man in front says you Americans always do things wrong first yoy drive on the wrong side of the road then hold you knife and fork wrong and you threw the wrong bitch out the window

Trump

clockwork

God- make a grumpy old man president Angel-why g-cause I said so-name him trump a-okay G-make him not pay taxes a-okay… Fast forwrd to 2020 G- you know that grumpy old man a-yea… G-make him create a deadly virus named after a beer A- Krona G- exactly A- why do you hate humans so much G- because I can.

Deep

Anonymous

you get a deep voice you shit talk to 5 yr olds

Puns

Alicia Yu

These are bee puns.🐝

I BEElive you are eager to hear!🐝 I love to BEE a little 9 years old writing on this page.🐝
(Last one) I want to BEEcome a BEE. ;-; I kid… Like this now and please Subscribe to Kelly Qin on YouTube and she is my mom and she has a bake channel!

Play

jay harris

what did the 19yr say to the 12yr old?!

wanna play Mario smash bros without Mario or his bros

Girl

Joe biden

what similar between a 14 year old pregnant girl and the fetus inside of her

there both thinking oh shit my moms going to kill me

Wife

Anonymous

A man needs to leave for lengthy a business trip, but his wife is saddened by this. She explains to him that if he isn’t home every night, there will be no way to satisfy herself if she feels horny. The man claims that she doesn’t need sex, because a dildo should work just fine. He quickly runs to the local gift shop and asks the cashier if the store carries anything really special. The cashier quietly pulls out an old box, and removes a wooden penis from inside. The cashier states that the dildo has been passed down in his family for generations, and was crafted by a witch deep within the Amazon jungle. The cashier sits up in his chair and shouts “Voodoo Dick, the door!” The wooden penis flies across the room, and begins to rapidly thrust itself in and out of the front door keyhole. “Voodoo Dick, the lamp!” The wooden penis flies up inside of the lamp on the cahsier’s desk, and once again, begins to thrust in and out. “Voodoo Dick, return to your box!” The wooden penis flies back into the box and the cashier closes the lid. The man chooses to buy the wooden penis, and just as he is about to leave, the cashier tells him a very important bit of information regarding the Voodoo Dick: “The cursed dildo can only be controlled through verbal commands, it is far too powerful to be moved by hand.” says the cashier. “You must never forget that!” The man nods and heads home. Later that day, the man explains to his wife how the sex toy works, and then leaves for his trip. A few days later, the wife becomes very horny, and opens up the box. She proceeds to shout “Voodoo Dick, my pussy!” The dildo zooms into her vagina, and pleasures her for roughly 6-8 hours. She soon begins to grow tired, and attempts to pull the dildo out of her. She pulls as hard as she can, but just can’t get it it. The wife panicks, and begins driving to the hospital with the wooden penis still inside of her vagina. A police officer pulls her over for speeding, and asks to see some identification. The wife exclaims “Help, help, there is a Voodoo Dick inside of my vagina and it won’t come out!” The officer raises an eyebrow in disbelief. “Voodoo Dick my ass!" The Voodoo Dick then flies out of the woman’s vagina and inside the officer’s ass. The officer say “WHAT THE HELL GET THIS THING OUT OF MY ASSHOLE!” The woman laughs and replies, “Thanks officer” and turns around and goes home.

Time

groundwork

I’m old enough to remember innocent times when the worst headline was plane hijackers flying into buildings.

Virgin

Anonymous

A 28-year old medical student is auctioning off her virginity online. For $300K, you can have the worst sex of your life.

Kid

Anonymous

Dark humor jokes are like kids with cancer.

They never get old

Find

J0K35 (week 1)

How can you find out how old a cabbage is?

By looking at its cabbAGE.

Man

J0K35 (week 1)

lol 1 week anniversary of me being on Worst Jokes Ever…

J0K35: LETS START A JOKING KEGGAR

A Joking keggar is where i get you drunk with some jokes, only on a special occasion.

Ok, yall ready to get drunk with raging jokes? OK LETS GOOOOo

What do you call an LGBTQ+ disc jockey?

A DG (dee gay)

What does lava use when it can’t walk properly?

A volCANEo

What do crackheads do when a black man got brutalitized?

They start a HIGHot (say it like hiot riot)

What is Satan’s favorite DJ?

MarshHELLo

What do neck breakers use?

Snapchat

What did Twitter and Reddit eat with chocolate and marshmellows?

Instagraham crackers

Is this the last joke?

No

What is similar between a dog and my ex?

They are both commonly known as bitches

What number has a flu from a pig?

Nine flu (swine flu)

What did the loaf say when he was playing hide and seek?

BREADY OR NOT? HERE I GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Who is the best anime girl?

Well its pretty obvious 02 is on the second rank

Why did Sally get caned?

Because old men hurriCANED.

That was all

OR WAS IT?

Yes, it was (Come back on Halloween for another Joking Keggar)

Man

sub to dragons 4real

Me sees crazy man hit a old poor person me dials 911 police:what is that location me:idk where is dis location police:mission failed we will try again later me:wth police:ends call me:calls hospital hospital:what is that location me:idk where is dis location hospital:mission failed we will try again later me:WTH IS HAPPENDS EVERY TIME NOW EVERYTHING IS ON FIRE hospital:hangs up me:calls fire dEpArTmEnT fire:no fire dEpArTmEnT:what is that location me:hangs up and give up and goes home

Killer

J0K35

Just. Old. Killer. Epigrams

Girl

J0K35

So i saw a 15 year old kid near a 15 year old girl checking her out.

Then I told him, what are you doing?

He told me he will decorate her locker, donate a lot of money to her, and buy her a lot of stuff.

He then told me how easy would that be?

I told him: that sounds pretty SIMPle.

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