Offensive jokes
What’s the difference between a prostitute and a hockey player?
A hockey player gets to shower after three periods.
Why are Michael Jackson and caviar so much in common?
They both come on little white crackers.
Why did the little girl cry twice?
Because you wiped your shitty bloody duck on her favorite teddy bear.
What do my little brother and a vagina have in common?
They both ooze blood 🩸 when punched.
A man bought steroids from Amazon.com... He was expecting a big package to come!
Everyone: So, wait, let me get this straight. Feminists want to cancel Father's Day because it is offensive to single mothers.
Feminists: Correct.
Everyone: Then what the f*** is the point of Mother's Day?
Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack can eat her candy. He got sick when he got a mouthful of dick and realized her name was Randy.
What's a dying person's least favorite app? TikTok.
What is Mexico's favorite sport? Cross country.
Jk: Jimin, why are you so small?
Jm: Excujjimi?
Jk: No offense, Jim.
Jm: Yah, call me hyung!
Jk: But I'm bigger.
Jm: I'm older!
Jk: I'm the top and you're the bottom, so I don't think it's right to call you hyung.
Jm:......
Why can’t Chinese people play cricket?
Because they ate all the bats!
Hellen Keller walked into a bar... then a table... then a chair.
What do you call a spaceman’s willy?
A Shuttlecock!
What does a frozen loading screen and a Make-A-Wish kid have in common?
They both couldn't make it all the way.
How does a non-binary ninja kill someone?
They slash them.
My blind friend is so annoying, he kept bumping into things even though I repeatedly told him to look where he was going.
When you were born, your mom said you were out of bounds, so you went flying out of the hospital.
What is red and white and goes 200 mph?
A baby in a blender.
Yo mama so ugly, she went to the bathroom and scared the sh*t out of the toilet.
Your mum sat on a phone, and she turned it into a pancake.