Offensive jokes
Hellen Keller walked into a bar... then a table... then a chair.
What do you call a spaceman’s willy?
A Shuttlecock!
What does a frozen loading screen and a Make-A-Wish kid have in common?
They both couldn't make it all the way.
How does a non-binary ninja kill someone?
They slash them.
My blind friend is so annoying, he kept bumping into things even though I repeatedly told him to look where he was going.
When you were born, your mom said you were out of bounds, so you went flying out of the hospital.
What is red and white and goes 200 mph?
A baby in a blender.
Yo mama so ugly, she went to the bathroom and scared the sh*t out of the toilet.
Your mum sat on a phone, and she turned it into a pancake.
Sorry, I don't have a joke here... Just wondering how idiots end up here complaining about offensive jokes when you ended up here. You had to click that section on purpose, right? If you can't take it, piss the fuck off... If I'd be gay and I'd look up gay jokes and get offended... how stupid is that?
What do you call a gay drive-by? A fruit roll-up.
How do you fit 3 gay guys on a barstool? Flip it upside down.
Jack and Jill went up the hill, Had some fun. She forgot her pill, And now we have Jonny!
What's worse than 10 babies nailed to a tree? 1 baby, nailed to 10 trees.
Quoting the great Jimmy Carr: "When I cook, I make sure there are vegetarian options. They can make do, or they can fuck off."
Me and my suicidal friend are close, so I took him to the mall to treat him.
We bought snacks, a new controller for his Xbox, and LED lights for his room to hopefully brighten his mood. After we scanned the last item, the machine beeped by itself.
What is a pedophile's favorite part about Halloween?
Free delivery.
What's got 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet?
The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
I swear, in America, one school shooter can take good care of hundreds of kids, but hundreds of soldiers can't even win a war. Might as well send all your school shooters over there.
Why were the Twin Towers mad? They ordered pizza, but all they got was plane.