Jack and Jill wheat up the him had some fun she forgot her pill and now we have jonny
What's worse than 10 babies nailed to a tree? 1 baby, nailed to 10 trees.
Quoting the great Jimmy Carr: "When I cook, I make sure there are vegetarian options. They can make do, or they can fuck off."
Me and my suicidal friend are close, so I took him to the mall to treat him.
We bought snacks, a new controller for his Xbox, and LED lights for his room to hopefully brighten his mood. After we scanned the last item, the machine beeped by itself.
What is a pedophile's favorite part about Halloween?
Free delivery.
What's got 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet?
The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
I swear, in America, one school shooter can take good care of hundreds of kids, but hundreds of soldiers can't even win a war. Might as well send all your school shooters over there.
Why were the Twin Towers mad? They ordered pizza, but all they got was plane.
I wasn’t close to my dad when he died. It’s a good thing he stepped on a land mine.
My grandpa died during World War II. He was the best concentration camp guard they have ever seen. RIP.
Have you ever had sex camping?
It's inTENTS.
Oh, my fat joke offended you? Which one of your chins did I hurt?
I got my sister a book and she cried there, but I forgot she was blind.
So I got my sister shampoo for her birthday, and she stood there and threw her wig on the floor.
How is your cereal? Oh, wait.
So I got my brother a jumping castle for his birthday. That bitch cried in his wheelchair.
Nice cock, bitch.
69, 420, 21.
My friend was on a wheelchair... he committed suicide yesterday. I remember when I met him last time, he told us a good joke and I appreciated him and told him to become a stand-up comedian.
What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection?
Quarter pounder with cheese.
