Nun jokes
Do you know how many women have been pope?
Nun.
What is the definition of suspicion? A: A nun doing squats in a cucumber field.
What’s the difference between a nun and a hooker?
One kneels for salvation.
The other kneels with salivation.
What do you call a nasty ass boy?
Sam Caithness.
A sad guy called "nun" is crying next to the grave of his best friend called "month". "Month" got killed by a gay guy, and after that, "nun" got homophobic.
While "nun" is sitting next to "month"'s grave, he heard a guy ask his friend: 《Do You Wanna Play A Game On?》 "Nun" got angry and he asked that guy: 《What did you just say to your friend?》 The guy answers: 《A game on, why?》
"Nun" kills the two guys.
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What does a nun say when you ask too many questions?
"Nunya business!"
What's black, white, and red?
A nun that fell down an elevator shaft.
Two nuns in a bath.
How do you get a nun pregnant?
Fuck 'em.
Nuns be like: Can I spread the word, but check for you?
Why do nuns go around in pairs?
So one nun makes sure the other nun doesn't get none!
Reverend Mother walks into the convent and announces:
"Sisters, our carrots have been delivered!"
Nuns exclaim: "Hurray! Carrots!"
Reverend Mother: "They are grated carrots, though."
Nuns: "Ugh! No, thank you then..."
A monk asks the priest if it's okay to kiss a nun.
The priest replies, "Just as long as you don't get in the habit!"
What's black and white, black and white, black and white, black and white...? A dead nun rolling down a hill.
What is the difference between a nun and a hooker?
One to trust and the other to thrust.
A nun going down a water shoot? She never felt so wet in all her life!
What do you call 2 nuns and a prostitute that play football?
Two tight ends and a wide receiver.
I asked my mom to make me a brat. She was sleepy but I said do it anyway. My mom and my dad had fucked last night so he was on the couch but naked. She took a knife and sliced his dick, then put it on a bun, then ketchup and mustard. I said this tasted funny. She was snoring, then I threw it and said, "EW IS THIS A DICK WHAT THE FUCK AHHH!!!!?!?!!!!"
Ever since that day, they haven't fucked again because he ain't got nun to fuck with.
What is the difference between whores and nuns?
Nuns usually discover their own chosen vocation. Whores usually have their vocation chosen by pimps.
Three nuns went up to Mother Teresa and said, "Mother Teresa, we would not like to be nuns anymore." Mother Teresa said, "Okay, but first you have to do something unholy." So they leave and come back three days later. The first one says, "Mother Teresa, I did something unholy. I took a little kid's bike." Mother Teresa says, "Okay, drink from the holy water and you are free to go." The second nun walks up, upset, "I did something worse than her. I slept with a married man." The last nun walks up and says, "I did something worse than all of them." Mother Teresa says, "Oh god, oh gosh, what is it?" And the third nun says, "I peed in the holy water."