two nuns were sitting on a bench, a flasher flashed them and one of the nuns had a stroke ... but the other one was to far away : )
One afternoon, a man was walking to a bar after work. Across the street, an Irish nun stood there waving her arms at the man. "Look at this poor drunkard! The Lord does not love him! He will be sent to Hell!" the nun shouted. The man walked over to the nun. "Hey! I had a hard day at work! I was going to get ONE beer! Have you ever even tried a drink before?" the man asked. The nun looked down and shook her head. "Well, if you tried it, you would probably like it! Would you want to try something?" the man asked. The nun replied, "Okay, only one thing." "What would you like?" asked the man. He offered her beer and whiskey, but she declined. "How about a little gin?" the man concluded. "Okay, sure. But, can you ask them to put it in a mug so people don't see what I'm drinking?" asked the nun. "Fine," the man walks into the bar and waves to the bartender. "Hey, can I have a bottle of beer and a bit of gin? Also, can that be in a mug?" asked the man. The bartender looked up, with fury in his eyes. "Don't tell me that damn nun is out there again!" the bartender said.
Do you know how many women have been pope?
Nun
What happens when an angel and nun "have some fun, and forget pills"?
The nun gets pregNUNt.
(wow two pregnancy jokes in a row)
What’s black, white, and red all over?- A nun in a blender
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Why is a nun called a nun? Cause they aint supposed to get nun ;)
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
A drunk walks out of a bar late at night and see's a nun walking past on the footpath. He utters something hateful to himself as he begins running building momentum before launching himself at the nun catching her with a massive superman punch to the back of the head knocking her tumbling brutally to the pavement. He proceeded with a swift kicking to the nuns ribs and spine before grabbing the nun by the scruff of her habbit and lifting her limp to her feet til face to face. Looking the nun dead in her eyes with menace the drunk victoriously growled. Your not so bloody tough tonight are ya Batman.
how much pussy does a preist get nun
What’s a nuns weapon of choice? Nun-chucks
A monk asks the priest if it's okay to kiss a nun. The priest replies "just as don't get in the habit"
During a discussion at Sunday school, a nun asks the children what they think God takes you by when you die. A kid responds, "I think God takes you by your feet, because once I walked into my parents room and my mom's feet were in the air and she was screaming, "Oh God, I'm coming!!!"
What do you you get when you put 2 nuns and a blond on a football field? 2 tight ends and a wide receiver.
Q: what do you call a nun in a pool b A: a bath bomb
Why that Nun didn't like Virgin Mary. Because she was straight into Jesus
To avoid getting drafted, a young man slips into a nunnery to hide from some draft board agents who are after him. Desperate, he approaches a nun and asks her to hide him. “Get under my robes,” says the nun. “No one will look for you there.” The nun lifts up her robes and the man says, “Hey, that’s a fine pair of legs you have there, sister.” “Yeah, well if you look a bit higher you’ll see a fine set of balls,” replies the nun. “I didn't want to get drafted either.”
What would throw between a priest and a nun a bottle of whiskey
What’s black and white and red all over?” “A crushed nun!”
“What’s that black stuff between an elephants toes?” Slow natives.”
Reverend Mother walks into the convent and announces: "Sisters, our carrots have been delivered!" Nuns exclaim: "Hurray! Carrots!" Reverend Mother: "They are grated carrots, though." Nuns: "Ugh! No thank you then..."
