So, Satan is in the delivery room having a child. Soon, a feathered creature comes out. "Doctor," say Satan. "What is it?" The doctor sighs. "Well, it's not a boy, and it's not a girl." Satan looks frustrated. "THEN WHAT IS IT?!?!?" The doctor looks up. "It's a goose."
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
why did the Orphan eat cereal with water? Thar dad did not come home with the milk
What games would deaf people not be good at...
Simon says and Musical chairs
I said to my pregnant wife push darling , come on push harder dear , no she wasn't giving birth the bloody car would not start .
if im ugly at least im not you
A guy wins a free ticket to the Super Bowl and so he’s very excited.
However, he’s not so excited when he gets there and realizes his seat’s in the back of the stadium.
So he looks around him for a better seat, and to his surprise he finds an empty seat right next to the field.
He approaches the older guy who’s sitting in the seat next to the empty one and asks if the seat is taken.
The man replies, “No.”
The young guy is very surprised to hear this and asks, “How could someone pass up a seat like this?”
The older guy replies, “It’s my wife’s seat. We’ve been to every Super Bowl together since the day we were married but she’s passed away.”
“Oh, how sad,” the young guy says, taken aback. “I’m sorry to hear that, but couldn’t you find a friend or relative to come with you?”
“No,” the man replies, “They’re all at the funeral.”
Man walks into a bar and sees a bear serving drinks... Sits down looking astonished. The bear says “what’s the matter you never saw a bear serving drinks? “ The man says “it’s not that, I just never thought the moose would sell the place.”
Why did little Susie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms or legs. Knock Knock “Who’s there?” Not Susie.
Hi if you are suffering with depression and want to talk about it plz do so in the comments, and just know you are NOT alone.
Why did the basketball player not get on the bus? Because he couldn’t be caught travelling! 😂
Please like and comment below... 😊
How many children does it take to screw in a lightbulb, not 27 bc my basement is still dark.
Why can't orphans be criminals
Because their not wanted
Whenever I have diarrhea, my roommate gets constipated When I told him this, he said, 'Are you kidding me?'.
I said, 'I shit you not.'
*School shooting happens*
Foreign exchange student: *Sobbing under desk*
American student: "First time?"
"yeah you?
American student: hahaha. no, not my first time
You’re not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
A foreign man came to America not knowing a word of English and right away began looking for a job. He became a chorus teacher and learned to say, ̈Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi! ̈ After that he joined the Army and learned to say, ̈Yes sir! ̈ After that he worked at a restaurant and learned to say, ̈Forks and knives, forks and knives! ̈ After that he worked at a candy store and picked up the words, ̈Goody-goody gumdrops! ̈ A few weeks later, there was a murder in the area and he was the first person to be interrogated by the police. The interrogation went as follows: Policeman: Who killed the man? Foreign man: Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi! Policeman: Did you kill the man? Foreign man: Yes sir! Policeman: What did you use to kill him: Foreign man: Forks and knives, forks and knives! Policeman: You ́re under arrest. Foreign man: Goody-goody gumdrops!
Some people are like a software update. When I see them I think, "Not now."
I'm not gay, but fifty dollars is fifty dollars.
