🧀:C’mon tomato!
🍅: I’m trying to ketchup.
🧀:You’re a mile away.
🍅: I am a tomato! It’s not that easy for me to ketchup.
What do you call a cow with no legs? (Ground Beef!) No, a cow! The absence of legs does not change the fact that the species is still a cow!
What do you call a DOG with no legs? (A dog?) It doesn't matter what you call it, as it's never going to come.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Be warned, if you are in the shower, I might pikachu and it's not my fault if I see any jigglypuffs.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
The Trump family are flying from New York to DC when Donald looks down on the cities below
Trump: I think I’ll throw a $1000 bill out the window and make some American happy Melania: Oh honey, why not throw ten $100 bills out the window and make ten Americans happy? Ivanka: Even better daddy, throw 100 ten dollar bills out the window and make 100 people happy Pilot: Why don’t you all jump out the window and make the whole country happy?
Q: How many dead hookers does it take to change a lightbulb... A: Not Three. My damn basement is still dark...
"Where exactly are you taking me doctor?" "To the morgue" "But I'm not dead yet!" "But we're not there yet"
mom, mom I'm holding my little brother's hand ..... little Johnny good! but he's not born yet
What did Luke Skywalker say when he saw someone bullying his sister? You better not Leia finger on her!
Robin: "The car's not working." Batman: "Did you check the battery?" Robin: "What's a tery?"
I'm not racist but the Ku Klux Klan look all the same to me
*One day u see a girl climb a pole and ask her* Why are u climbing that pole Because a boy payed me to He did that to see your underwear Oh. Ok *next day u see her do the same thing* why are u ding the same thing Well I got him this time. I did not wear underwear
Why did the cow not want to talk to the other cow? because they had beef with eachother
Why is Stephen Hawking going to hell?
Because it’s a stairway to heaven not a ramp.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Why does JD Vance not need conviction?
His running mate has 34 of them!
So i was sitting with my little brother and talk about our dreams. "What do you wanna be when you grow up?" I asked him. He answered "A doctor!". I wanted to tease him so i said "I wouldn't be treated by a doctor like you". I was hoping he would get mad or something but instead, he calmly replied "Brother, i said doctor. Not a vet"
A white dude walks up to a muslim and says "so you're an indian?" and the muslim says "no brotha, i'm not 7 eleven i'm 9/11"
the gay kid tried to shoot up the school but his shots would not go straight
