Not jokes
For dinner, this girl had noodles. The next day, she could not find her skinny sister. The mom said, "Your sister is dead!" sadly. The girl asked, "She was skinny, right?" The mom said yes. The sister laughed, "I ate her! That’s why the noodles were very skinny!"
Dear Gwen, you are not a faker, nor liar, nor loser!
And the people that are bothering you are just dumb, stupid, bored, and need to get a fricking life instead! Don't hurt yourself because of these comments, to be honest, you're really nice, kind, and mannered! There are more kind people than mean people, and I am one of them! Just live your life and ignore Liv and the unknown guy, which is named Greg! No need for all this drama!
Best, Tenya Bailey.
You and me went up to stab your father. He was out, do not pout. They are coming after.
Why can orphans not play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
I have some words that might make sense to girls, but maybe not to boys, ready?
smart
kind
sweet
caring
loving
mature
Why did Sally not come home from school today?
Because she got hit by a bus.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandpa, not screaming in terror like all the passengers on the plane he was flying.
You're so poor not even Dollar Tree has your prices.
If Red gets voted out, what happened?
Red is not voted out, Red is a hacker, so he kills Blue. OK, so someone found Blue's body. Red said, "Where?"
Lime, Green, and Purple said, "How is Red not dead?"
Red: "I am a hacker, you noobs!"
Lime, Green, and Purple run.
Red killed them all. Red is the win, but he is not the win.
Black killed Red. Black is the win.
LOL
What do you call an Asian who gets a B?
It's not a B-sian.
Dead.
I'm not completely useless; I can be used as a bad example.
My wife and I have decided that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
Fletcher is not a lesbian. He is also not an Asian. He is also definitely not an accident.
Why did the roster cross the road twice?
To prove it was not a chicken.
What did the skeleton say when his girlfriend said, "I'm gonna break your heart?"
He says, "Go ahead, you're not breaking my 206 healthy bones!"
We all know yo homie bout to hop in a fight when:
1. He staring mighty hard at y'all.
2. When your friend know you gon get your ass beat.
3. When your friend say he not gon jump in (you know he lying).
Dark jokes are just like food.
Not everyone gets it.
Lionel: Leona, please no more singing your annoying Fuzzy Bear song!
Leona: But I love my song, right Fuzzy?
Fuzzy Bear: I am going to bite you for not letting your sister sing my song!
*Fuzzy Bear bites Lionel*
Lionel: AHHHHHHH
Neona: Gwen?
Gwen: Yes... what can I do for you?
Neona: You were so right! Mr. Smith has sexual problems and is a fool! I am so sorry that you were not a liar! PLEASE FORGIVE ME!!!!!
Gwen: You should have listened. Plus I'm over it!
Neona: Are you mad at me?
Gwen: Me? NEVER! Sometimes we listen and don't listen.
I was working at a check-in station for a flight to Riyadh when suddenly I was approached by Benzema, Kante, and Neymar!
At first I was very surprised and curious, so I asked them why they decided to play in the Saudi Pro League and not MLS where GOAT Messi plays. They all smiled and happily replied: "Don't you know, the legendary bench warmer PRISTIANO PENALDO plays there!"
Now I fully understood what they meant! They know that Pristiano is already finished, so winning trophies will be easy for them. I smiled and happily let them through.