Not jokes
Why did Sally not save the mountain climber?
Because it was her dad.
There once was a little girl named Sarah with no arms and legs.
*knock knock*
Who's there!
Not Sarah.
You know chords, right? Well, you know what I love to do? To play with A-minor. You know, feel your fingers on A-minor. Gives you a sense of power, to just F A-minor.
But that's not my favorite thing to fiddle with. That would be the D of minors. It's just solid, you know. If you're clever you can have the D of minors into the C of minors. Or, though a bit tricky, the D of minors into the B of minors.
And at this point you've gotten the point and if I want to continue it would be a bit of a stretch.
Old man goes to the doctor.
The doctor says, "The test results are back, and I'm sad to say you have cancer and Alzheimer's."
The old man says, "Phew! At least it's not cancer!"
What do you call a blind German?
A not see.
Why can't Sally swing?
Because she has no arms.
Knock knock, "Who's there?", not Sally.
Where did Sally go when the bombs dropped?
Everywhere.
Imagine Stephen Hawking was the real Slim Shady but could not stand up.
Sally fell off the swing.
Sally has no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
A man and a giraffe walk into a bar. The man orders a beer, one for him and one for the giraffe.
After they finish their drinks, the giraffe falls over, and the man gets his stuff and heads for the door.
The bartender says, "Stop! You can't leave that thing lying on the floor!"
The man says, "Mate, that's not a lion, it's a giraffe."
How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?
Well, it's not 8 because my basement is still dark.
What's better than winning gold at the Paralympics?
Not being retarded.
Why are there so many jokes about Chuck Norris, but not about Bruce Lee?
Bruce Lee was no joking matter.
Why did the midget not go to bed?
He couldn't reach the bed.
We cut and kill flowers because they're pretty.
We cut and kill ourselves because we are not.
When is a door not a door? When it's ajar.
When is a car not a car? When it turns into a driveway. 🥁
So what if I can’t spell Armageddon? It’s not the end of the world.
Some people are like a software update. When I see them I think, "Not now."
Dark humor is like food.
Not everyone gets it.
What do you call a dog with no legs? -- Doesn't matter what you call him, he's not coming.