No one jokes
Why can orphans never be kidnapped?
No one can tell them that "your parents said that they would be delayed and I was told to pick you up."
No one. Beyoncé said "To the left, to the left!" She really meant women have no rights.
You know that if it says, "Adopt a Highway" and no one does, we're driving on orphans.
I cannot believe no one's come up with a cure for anorexia yet. I thought it would be a piece of cake!
Why is an orphan good at being naughty?
Because they don't have no one to tell them off.
What’s the difference between Texas and Flint, Michigan?
Nothing; no one cares how much lead is in the kids.
A Catholic priest finds a young boy crying at the top of a cliff.
“What’s wrong? Why are you crying?”
The boy points down. “Mummy and Daddy were in the car and it went over the edge.”
The priest can see the flaming wreck below. He looks around and sees no one else is about and starts to unbutton his belt.
“It’s really not your day, is it?”
The other day my brother hit me. I yelled for mom. No one responded.
Do you know why orphans don't have parents?
Because no one raised you.
Roses are red, violets are blue, you are so ugly that no one likes you.
Me: *finds out my dad's an orphan*
No one:
Literally no one:
Me: Time to make his life hell.😈
"I always like walking in the rain, so no one can see me crying."
- Charlie Chaplin
Roses are red, violets are blue, keep being you, let no one discourage you.
Why can't orphans be gay?
There's no one to call "daddy."
I told a joke at a funeral, but no one laughed. One mf was ded though💀.
One time, Little Johnny heard his parents "wrestling" in their bed. So the next morning, he went to rape all the little girls in school. This then led to his demise.
No girls told on him, but when he grew up, he was a raper. He never stopped. In total, "little" Johnny had over 31 sons that he didn't know about. When he was sentenced to jail, he raped all the inmates despite his small figure. He was then sent to the death sentence, "eagle wing" torture style.
His parents were happy he died, and the morbid rapist was put down, never to return again. However, all the sons had his genes, including his MINDSET. They then became a cult and shot down 2014 cops, 471 military members and 72951 males and females. The kids, you ask? Only the males were spared, and taught how to operate the guns. All but 419 females were killed. They soon became the world's strongest empire. No one could stop Little Johnny's sons. NO ONE.
Why don’t orphans play hide and seek?
Because no one will look for them.
Why can't orphans have sex? Because they have no one to call "daddy."
When I masturbate, things cum.
When an old man does, no one cums.
They told me I could never be an actor.
No one suspected me when they went missing the next day.