Alright class, the person who answers my next question gets to go home.
Then a guy throws a pencil. The teacher asks, "Who threw that pencil?" "I did, I get to go home."
Next Jokes
I went to take out the trash, could not find you, so I went back in. The next day I found you.
Why do terrorists like the Twin Towers?
It's the next thing they blow up.
I was at the park the other day and sat down on the bench next to a mum and her daughter, and she asked which one was my kid, and I said I haven't decided yet.
Her name was Lola.
She was a loner.
At the Copa.
Then I saw her,
And I got a boner.
The next morning,
She couldn't remember if I banged her.
At weddings my mom always tells me I’m next. So I say the same to her, at funerals.
What's white but not black, and red all over?
J. K. Rowling after attending the world premiere of the next Matrix movie.
Wow, he stole my antidepressant toy. The next day, he was on the ground.
What do you call two terrorists standing next to each other with their dicks out?
The Twin Towers.
I told a crying kid to wipe his tears and come back smiling.
He never came back the next day, says the local news.
I wanted to put this up so I could say goodbye to everyone that I chatted with, like Gwen or MEG... So, yea, see you next year after Friday.
My sister is really disrespectful, and her famous words are, "You're not my parent!" The next time she says this, I'm going to respond back with, "You're right, because I would have worn a condom to protect from you being born unlike my dad did!"
Why don't people sit next to the cheetah during a test?
Because he's a cheetah!
Why did the rapper become a weatherman?
To predict the HEAT of his next single.
One time, I worked at the zoo and I was feeding the monkeys.
And one of them μяɨɲąţ€ď on me.
And I went to the hospital and got a bloody nose the next day.
Yo mama so fat, she was the lead balloon in the Thanksgiving day parade next to Kermit the Frog.
Someone booted Stephen Hawking offline. Maybe next time he will stand for the pledge/anthem.
Person A: Hey, what's the next subject?
Person B: Let me check.
Person B: It's greenglish!
A black cat will be racist next.
A professional golfer driving his Porsche picked up an Irish girl hitchhiker. He had his golfing gear on the back seat. The Irish girl picked up something and asked, "What are these?"
"Those are tees," he said. "I rest my balls on them when I drive."
"Wow!" said the girl. "What will those car makers think of next!"
