Worst Jokes Ever
Germans be like, “Guten Morgan.”
Bitch, that's not my name.
Every time French people greet me, they say "banjo."
Nga, I don't got no fucking banjo.
"I'd love to give everyone another shot."
Harry, 26, works at the women's clinic.
What role does a leper play in the theater?
Voldemort!
Chuck Norris doesn't need protein bars. He just eats his own shit.
How do you measure a dog's temperature?
In barking grade!
A kindergarten teacher is chatting with little John. The teacher asks John, "John, can you get me some pencils?" John replies, "Sure, I'll do it!" and accidentally knocks over a vase.
The teacher says, "Oh, John!"
John asks, "What does that mean?" The teacher replies, "It's kind of a synonym for 'You loser!'"
A long-haired child once took a bite of Chuck Norris's brain. He later became known as Albert Einstein.
Autistic kids are like cats. Prove me wrong.
Down syndrome people are like dogs.
Prove me wrong.
Satan: "Why are you in hell?"
Me: "I threw itching powder on somebody with no arms."
Life’s not a game... but if it was, some people would still be stuck on the tutorial.
What happens to an Indian's doorbell when you ring it?
A ring-a-ding-a-ding.
What's the best part about duck tape?
It turns "No, no, no!" into "Mmmm, mmmmm, mmmmm!"
It makes it real easy to get to home base on that first date, too.
What’s a gay man’s favorite cereal?
Froot Loops
Why did they invent white chocolate?
So Black people can be messy too.
What is the difference between Benjah and Jesus?
Jesus walks on the water; Benjah wades through the water.
Why can orphans stay out until whatever time?
Because their parents won't tell them when to come home.
Him: Hey girl, do you have pet insurance?
Her: Yes, why do you ask?
Him: Cuz I'm going to bang that pussy up!
3 boys were having a debate about who had the healthiest grandma.
Boy 1: "I have the healthiest grandma. She is 67 years old and can still do a backflip!"
Boy 2: "No, I have the healthiest grandma. She is 76 years old and can still finish a marathon!"
Boy 3: "I have the healthiest grandma. She is 85 and she is in the hospital..."
Boy 1 and 2, looking confused.
Boy 1: "If she's so healthy, why is she in the hospital?"
Boy 3: "Because she's giving birth right now!"