Worst Jokes Ever
What do Spider-Man and suicidal people have in common?
They both hang.
What did the North Tower say to the South Tower? I can’t talk right now, I gotta catch a plane.
Why do orphans have 363 days in a year?
Because they have no Father's or Mother's days.
What's an orphan's least favorite T.V. show?
Family Guy.
What do you call it when the Edmonton Oilers play against the Nashville Predators? A Diddy Bowl.
What do you call a black man on the moon?
An astronaut, you fucking racist.
How do you piss off a midget?
Give them a yo-yo and tell them to play with it.
Did you hear about the guy who died by lethal injection and writhed on the stretcher for 20 minutes?
I guess it really IS all in the execution.
What do you call two homeless people throwing rocks at each other?
A pillow fight.
What does a blowjob and a bonus check have in common?
Someone’s always willing to blow your bonus.
I got you the candy. Haha! You idiot, it's poison!
Q. What do you call anal sex with a politician?
A. A backroom deal.
What's an Alzheimer's victim's favorite musical group?
The Who?
The warden gave them a choice of three ways to die: to be shot, to be hung, or to be injected with the AIDS virus for a slow death.
So the German said, "Shoot me right in the head." Boom, he was dead instantly.
Then the Italian said, "Just hang me." Snap, he was dead.
Then the Irishman said, "Give me some of that AIDS stuff." They gave him the shot, and the Irishman fell down laughing. The guards looked at each other and wondered what was wrong with this guy.
Then the Irishman said, "Give me another one of those shots," so the guards did. Now he was laughing so hard, tears rolled from his eyes and he doubled over.
Finally, the warden said, "What is wrong with you?"
The Irishman replied, "You guys are so stupid... I'm wearing a condom!"
What’s the difference between anal and oral sex?
Oral sex makes your day. Anal makes your hole weak.
What did the mad penis say to the vagina? “Don’t make me come in there!”
A vagina is like the weather. Once it’s wet, it’s time to go inside.
What’s long and hard and full of semen?
A submarine.
What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? “If we don’t get some support, people will think we’re nuts.”
How can you tell if your husband is dead?
The sex is the same, but you get to use the remote.