Worst Jokes Ever
What do super fancy music conductors wear?
A Louis baton.
I hope you know CPR, because you are taking my breath away!
What’s better than winning a medal at the Paralympics?
Being able to walk.
Your mom is so weak, when she jumped from the Twin Towers, her baby became disabled.
How do you get a koala to die? Kill it.
What’s the difference between someone’s wife and a plate?
They both have to stay in the kitchen.
Why do they make glow-in-the-dark condoms?
So gay people can play Star Wars.
Why did the towers fall? Because someone in Call of Duty hijacked the planes and crashed them into it.
What’s the difference between an ant and an orphan?
The ant knows where home is.
What does an orphan and Spider-Man have in common?
They have no "why home" 👹
What does Michael Jackson and Chef from South Park have in common?
They both say "Hello children!"
What is Chuck Norris' favorite Sonic song?
"Open Your Heart."
What's the difference between Vin Diesel and an orphan?
Vin Diesel has family.
Reverend Mother walks into the convent and announces:
"Sisters, our carrots have been delivered!"
Nuns exclaim: "Hurray! Carrots!"
Reverend Mother: "They are grated carrots, though."
Nuns: "Ugh! No, thank you then..."
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special forces.
When you're working in the Twin Towers, but you have to turn your computer to airplane mode.
Why did Stephen Hawking die so soon?
Because his misses bought the wrong batteries.
What's the best way to prank your blind girlfriend?
Fill her closet with see-through clothes.
If you were a room in my house, I’d make you the basement.
So I could put kids inside you.
Is it me, or was 9/11 too plane? I thought it would be more exciting.