Worst Jokes Ever
Why don't blind people like bungee jumping?
Because it scares the fuck out of dogs!
What do you call it when Batman skips church?
Christian Bale.
What do you call an alligator with a vest?
An investigator.
What is Beethoven doing now?
Decomposing.
Vagina jokes aren't funny.
Most of the time.
They say watching child porn will get me 20 years in jail. I prefer to think of it as two 10-year-olds.
Why do sharks swim in salt water?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze.
How many Germans does it take to change a lightbulb?
One.
How does Moses make his coffee?
Hebrews it.
What's the best part of having sex on a golf course?
The hole experience.
How do you get bubblegum out of your hair?
Cancer.
Why can't blind people eat fish?
Because it's sea food.
Why does Trump always ensure he has a second pair of pants with him every weekend?
In case he gets a hole in one.
What do you call a guy whose hand is up a horse's butt?
An Amish Mechanic.
What did the deaf man say to the blind man before he fell into the well?
Nothing.
Why are Trump's ties so long?
Because they go all the way to Russia.
There were three Indians that got kicked out of the tribe.
One said, "Me find food," and he came back with a decent size rabbit. The other two asked him what happened. He said, "Me see rabbit, me shoot rabbit, and rabbit fall down dead."
The 2nd Indian, "Me find food." He came back with a good sized deer. The other two asked him what happened. He said, "Me see deer, me shoot deer, deer fall down dead."
The third Indian said, "Me find food." He came back crawling, missing a leg and an arm, and he was all cut up. The others asked what happened. He said, "Me see train, me shoot train, train no stop!"
Why do women rub their eyes in the morning?
Because they don't have balls.
Why is Santa's sack so big?
He only comes once a year.
What did the guy exclaim after inventing the shovel?
It is ground breaking!