Worst Jokes Ever
What did the pedophile say when he got out of prison?
I feel like a kid again.
Say what you want against pedophiles, but they slow down in school zones.
A pedophile and a little boy are walking into the woods late at night.
The little boy says, "I'm scared."
The pedophile says, "You think you're scared? I have to walk back alone!"
What do you call a Chinese billionaire?
Cha Ching.
What do you call a restaurant that sells food that contains weed?
McBongald's.
My doctor called me fat. I told him I wanted a second opinion and he said, "OK, you're ugly too."
What's even funnier than throwing a baby off a building?
Catching it with a pitchfork.
What do you call a Muslim who owns 6 goats? -- A pimp.
Chuck Norris once heard nothing can kill him. So he tracked down nothing and killed it.
The Pentagon is changing the nuclear codes to over 140 characters, ...
so Trump can't tweet it.
My friend can't afford to pay his water bill anymore, so I sent him a card, "Get well soon."
What sound does a 747 make when it bounces?
Boeing boeing boeing.
A prisoner was told how he'll be executed. Needless to say, he was shocked.
What do you call 100 rabbits walking backwards?
A receding hare line.
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and the computer he's hooked up to? The computer runs.
God said, "Let there be light." Chuck Norris said, "You have to say please first."
If Chuck Norris was a Spartan in the movie 300, the movie would be called 1.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He just stares them down and gets the information he wants.
Chuck Norris knows Victoria's Secret.
Chuck Norris doesn't dial the wrong number. You answered the wrong telephone.