What car does Hitler drive?
A Fuhrerri.
What does a Mexican Highlander say?
"There can be only Juan!"
The past, present, and future walk into a bar.
It gets really tense.
What do Colorado and Saudi Arabia have in common?
It's legal to get stoned.
What kind of bees make milk?
BooBees.
What do you call a drunken Muslim?
Mohammered.
What are the three worst words to hear while you are having sex?
Honey, I'm home!
What do you call a fish with no eye?
Fsh.
What did one fish say to the other?
Keep your mouth shut and you'll never get caught.
Where do you find a dog with no legs?
Where you left it.
"What do we want?"
"HEARING AIDS!"
"When do we want them?"
"HEARING AIDS!"
Why couldn't the lizard get a girlfriend?
Because he had a reptile dysfunction!
Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet.
He scares the shit out of it.
The early bird might get the worm...
But the second mouse gets the cheese.
So a blind man walks into a bar.
At least he thinks so.
What did the leper say to the prostitute?
Keep the tip.
My bank loves me. They told me my credit card balance is outstanding.
How do you make holy water?
You boil the hell out of it.
What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?
You can't hear an enzyme.
Just because she weighed as much as two women... Doesn't mean you had a threesome.
