Worst Jokes Ever
I didn't break my back in the accident, thankfully.
But I can break yours today, hopefully.
"Ouch!"
"What's wrong?"
"I stepped on a screw."
"Are you ok?"
"I'm in ex-screw-ciating (excruciating) pain!"
Americans when they think they have the best offensive British jokes: "we threw your tea in the ocean." 💀
British people making offensive jokes about America: "our towers didn’t explode."😎
What is the difference between a knife and a feminist?
A knife has a point.
What's the difference between my ripped jeans and my arms?.
None.
Are you a dog because you're a fucking bitch?
Are you a rope? Cause I'm tryna put you around my neck 😏
I want a bigger couch.
Why? You're going to be in the kitchen most of the time anyway.
What's the difference between an orphan and an Egyptian?
Egyptians have mummies.
They call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me poor and ugly.
Mia: I'm pregnant again, Paul. I can't wait for you to come home.
Paul: I got a tree to hit on the way.
Who's the closest family member to Paul Walker?
Answer: The tree.
What does a gas grenade and a baby have in common?
They both squeal when you throw them.
What's a cheetah's favorite food?
Fast food!
Is that a mirror in your pocket?
'Cause I can see myself in your pants.
I love the word legs.
Wanna help me spread the word?
Why do animals cross the road?
Because it is funny, do you say "dogs" and "cats?"
Spell "attic."
Okay. A-T-T-I-C. /a titi/ tata. I see.
Why are there no Africans on cruise ships from Africa to America?
Once again, they don't fall for the trick!
What’s the difference between life and a rape joke?
Life fucks you until you stop breathing; a rape joke fucks you until it’s not funny anymore.