Worst Jokes Ever
What’s the difference between a nun and a hooker?
One kneels for salvation.
The other kneels with salivation.
Why won't an American atheist convert to the religion of Islam in the city of Dearborn, Michigan?
Because being on the sex offender list is the only requirement to be able to join a mosque in the city of Dearborn, Michigan.
Why won't an atheist convert to the religion of Islam? Because being on the sex offender list is the only requirement to be a Muslim according to the Arabic religion of Islam.
How are my sister‘s legs and peanut butter alike?\n\nThey’re both smooth and easy to spread.
Why can't Jesus eat M&Ms?
They'll fall right through his hands.
What did one sperm say to the other while swimming side by side?
One turns to the other and asks, "How much further to the fallopian tubes?"
The other says, "I’m not sure, we just passed the esophagus."
How do terrorists feed their children?
"Here comes the airplane!"
A house has a crack. A guy covers it with Plaster of Paris.\n\nHouse: "Where the heck am I supposed to do my shit now?"
What do Call of Duty and Al-Qaeda goals have in common?
You’ve got to get more than one down.
What’s the difference between my sister-in-law and a driveway?
I pull out of the driveway.
Orphans get family-sized chips for free.
What is a black person's least favorite word game?
Hangman.
Why were the Twin Towers mad? Because they ordered pizzas and they only got plain: one came late, and then went to the wrong location.
The Twin Towers were mad at each other, so they all just started launching planes at themselves.
What’s the best part about raping a blind girl? She’ll never see you coming.
A manager asked a black employee to work overtime. The employee initially agreed until he was told it would be without pay.
The employee responded with, "You know what happened last time my family worked for free?"
"What happened?" said the manager.
"A civil war."
Back the halls with gasoline, la la la la la.
Light a match and watch it gleam, la la la la la.
My school is burnt into ashes, fa la la la la, la la la la.
What do renovators and lesbians have in common?
They're both not interested in exposed wood, apparently.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They won't be able to find home.
What did the orphan say to the blind kid?\n\n"Hey, we both can't see our parents!"