Worst Jokes Ever
My friend: "Ya mama so stupid, she sits on the TV and watches the couch!"
Me: "That joke's older than your mom!"
Dick.
Why was 6 scared of 7?
Answer: Because 7 8 9.
How to make time fly?
Answer: Throw a clock out of the window.
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Doctor.
Doctor who?
Once there were these two fruitcakes driving in their Pink Porsche. "Oh, this handles so well!" they exclaimed.
Then this Mack truck came around the corner at their stop sign and rear-ended them. The passenger said to his partner, "You tell that man he's gonna pay every single cent 'cause we're going to sue him!"
So the flamer gets out and swishes to tell the trucker to do that very thing. The trucker was a tough who said, "What do you want, wimp?" The gay said, "You just hit our new Pink Porsche, and we're gonna make you pay every single cent 'cause we're gonna sue you!"
The trucker said, "Oh yeah? Blow me!" The gay driver went "Ohhh!" and ran back. The gay partner asked him, "What did he say?" His fruitcake driver said, "Ohhh! It's wonderful, he wants to settle out of court!"
So many of these jokes are unoriginal, and you guys need to step up your game.
Make like a drum and beat it!
Q: Why didn’t Santa eat the milk and cookies you set out for him?
A: He doesn’t exist, you childish sh**!
One time there was a squirrel who died.
It was funny because the squirrel got dead.
Timmy goes to the doctor and says, "There's a crack in my butt, doctor." Timmy, there is a crack in everyone's butt, see?
What's great about having sex with twenty-eight year olds?
There's ate of them.
My wife was going to have an abortion and I have cancer.
Ha Ha Ha
I thought it was funny.
What's the hardest part of eating vegetables?
The wheelchair.
Why was the staircase so sad?
Because everyone walks on them.
Science flies you to the moon, but religion flies you into skyscrapers.
What did your mom get for Christmas?
A big black horse dildo.
9/11.
I have a trombone.
When I'm sad, I cut myself...A PIECE OF CAKE!