Worst Jokes Ever
When Stephen Hawking was feeling hungry, he used to call in to his local PC World for a megabyte and some microchips.
What's a skeleton's favorite plant? A bone-zai tree. But if they don't like that one, how about a s-pine tree?
What's the best part about dead baby jokes?
They never get old.
Why is Stephen Hawking good at skateboarding? Because he's always on the ramps.
Stephen Hawking couldn't take the stairway to Heaven, he had to take the lift.
What’s made of wood and is zig zag shaped?
Stephen Hawking's coffin.
A guy walks into the house carrying a sheep and says out loud, "This is the pig I screw when you're on the rag."
His wife replies, "That's not a pig, it's a sheep."
He says, "I was talking to the sheep."
Why was the chef embarrassed?
He saw the salad dressing.
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
"SUPPLIES!"
What is the best part of twenty-one year olds?
There's twenty of them.
The reason why I stopped eating salads was not to be unhealthy; it was so I don't need to eat the wheelchairs along with all those fucking vegetables.
He couldn't take the stairway to heaven; he had to take the lift.
Why did Stephen Hawking go to hell?
Because he couldn’t go up the stairs to heaven.
Stephen Hawking didn’t die naturally, his carer just forgot to put him on charge.
If laughter is the best medicine, shouldn't we go up to disabled people and laugh at them?
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they don't know where home is...
Funny thing is, dead women can't say no...
Haha
My girlfriend called me a pedophile, but what does she know? She's 7.
Stephen Hawking was one of the best scientists ever. Now he's walking up the steps of he... No, he's not walking up the steps of heaven.