Worst Jokes Ever
What's similar between McDonald's and priests?
They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns.
How did Stephen Hawking die? He lost internet connection.
What do a girl and a bar have in common?
A- Liquor in the front, poker in the back!
Knock knock! Who's there? It's Dave! Dave who? Dave proceeds to break down crying at the realization that his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she no longer remembers him.
Why is it so hard to make a party on Earth?
Because you need to planet.
A horse says to the other horse, "Are you hot?"
The other horse says, "Ahhhh, a house that talks!"
What did Saskia say to Brandon?
Saskia: "Can you rape me like you did Sydney?"
What's small, has no dad, and looks like Bugs Bunny?
Ben after he trips over the giant curb!
Who do you call someone that steals his brother's girlfriend and [is] disowned by his whole family? Brandon.
What's small, stupid, and has no dad?
Ben.
What has 2 legs, 2 arms, and an abusive father?
Aaron.
If a pregnant woman is under water, isn't she technically a submarine?
As he threw the mechanical pencil toward me, I knew that if I didn't move, I would be lead into serious trouble.
Did you hear about the blind prostitute?
Well, you gotta hand it to her.
What was David Bowie’s last hit?
Probably heroin.
What has 4 legs and 1 arm?
A pitbull in a children's play area.
What did the Canadian say when a guy shot his beaver?
"It is ok, I forgive you."
How old is uuuuuurrrr mom?
Five.
Cringe.... I know that was a crap joke... not even a joke.
Who are the fastest readers?
911 victims. They went through 88 stories in 7 seconds.
Wanna hear something bad? A pile of dead babies.
Wanna hear something worse? The one at the bottom is still alive.
Wanna hear something worse than that? He has to eat his way out.
Wanna hear something that's the worst? He comes back for seconds.