Worst Jokes Ever
"9/11 was just a really intense game of Jenga."
Why is Santa’s sack so big?
Because he only comes once a year.
How do you make a dead baby float?
Two scoops of ice cream, one scoop of dead baby!
I have a fear of speed bumps. But I am slowly getting over it.
Déjà Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
Astronomers got tired of watching the moon rotate around the earth for 24 hours, so they just called it a "day".
There are five cows on a farm, one mamma cow and four baby calves. The first baby walks up to the mom and asks, "Momma, why is my name Rose?" The mommy cow replies, "Well honey, a rose petal fell on your head when you were born." The next calf comes up and asks, "Momma, why is my name Lily?" The mother replies, "Because honey, a lily petal fell on your head when you were born." The third baby comes up and asks, "Momma, why is my name Daisy?" The momma cow again replieds, "Well, when you were born a daisy petal fell on your head." The final baby walks over and says, "Huh Ruh Buh Duh!" The momma cow says, "Shut up, Cinderblock!"
Did you fall from heaven? Because you really did a damage on your face.
What did the drunk woman say to the man after leaving the bar?
"Alcohol, you later!"
What do you call a person who smokes?
Smokey the Bear.
Me.
Who was the knight on the Round Table that only ate meat?
Sir Loin.
Your mama so fat, when she stepped on the scale, it said, "One at a time."
Yo mama so stupid that, when she heard about cookies on the internet, she ate her computer.
Your mama is so stupid, when her phone died, she bared it, lol.
2+2=4-1=3 quick math.
What do you get when you cross a cow with a coffee bean grower?
De-calf!
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite TV show?
Robot Wars.
My son is so ungrateful. I bought him a trampoline and all he does is sit in his wheelchair and cry all day.
What's better than one dead baby?
Two dead babies.