Worst Jokes Ever

They say Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer, too bad he doesn't cry.

Yo mama so stupid, she thought Fruit Ninja was a gay weeaboo!

My abortion.

So, two condoms walk by a gay bar. What does one condom say to the other? "Hey, wanna get 'shit-faced?'"

I was walking down the street and saw a kid slip on a plum.

I look to my right and died of laughter because I did the same!

My class is my house is quite. I suck a dick, now one cares.

A woman gets rid of polish with chemicals and no one bats an eye The Germans got rid of polish with chemicals and everyone lost their mind

What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common? Both of their greatest hits are "the wall."

What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair?

Artificial Intelligence.

I despise lumberjacks. They are always barking up the wrong tree, all bark and no bite.

They just need to leaf people alone or stick with something nicer.

How do you stop a baby from crawling around in a circle on the floor?

You nail its other hand to the floor.

What does Stephen Hawking have for food?

Are you an egg, because you crack me up?

Are you a lightbulb, cuz you brighten up my day?

What's the difference between a cat and a banana? It's hard to peel a cat.

Whats the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead hookers, i don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

My will to live.

Two brothers were arguing. One went: "You're an idiot!"

The other went: "Your brother's a mother!"

He replied: "Yeah, I know. Thanks for agreeing with me."

Me: Mom, I think I need to go to the hospital.

Mom: OMG, why son?

Me: I don't know what's wrong, but every time I close my eyes, I can see.

Think about it, then spread LMAO.

Do not trust atoms! They make up everything.