Worst Jokes Ever
Last Halloween, I went dressed as a woman. When I rang the doorbell, an elderly woman opened it, and I made a grunting noise and knocked the bowl of candy out of her hands.
She immediately called the police and told them exactly what happened. The officer pulled me aside and asked me a few questions. First, he asked if my parents were here, and I said nothing. Concerned by my answer, he then asked if I was okay, so I said nothing. He asked me what my name was, and I responded, "Hellen Keller."
Three men walk into a bar... you would have thought the last one would have ducked.
They are making a movie about clocks.
It’s about time.
How did the USA beat Japan in rapping?
By dropping two of the biggest roasts.
My family is like a treasure.
You need a map and shovel to find them.
X: Morning, sunshine!
Y: Oh, yeah. 30 minutes more.
Why did the bike fall over?
Because it was two tired.
You know the difference between happy tailgaters and angry tailgaters?
Happy tailgaters know how to throw a party.
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The "p" is silent.
Hi, what's your name?
I don't know, I'm disabled.
What's the difference between apples and dead babies?
I don't ejaculate on apples before I eat them.
Your mama is so fat, when she stepped on a scale, it said "Damn!"
What's Trump's favorite instrument?
A TRUMPet!!!
Yo mama so fat, when she sat on Walmart, the prices went down.
Your mama so fat, she filled up Minecraft's block limit! lol XD
What did the trumpet say to Trump?
"Hi, fellow trumpet!"
You want a pizza from me!!!!
Pizzaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!
Why did the bird lay an egg on Stephen Hawkings?
Because he is Stephen HAWKings.
What do you get when you combine a priest and lawyer? A Father-in-law.