Worst Jokes Ever
A doctor walks up to a dying man and sadly says: "I'm sorry, the test shows you only have 10 more to live."
The man says "10!? 10 what!? Years? Weeks? Days? What?!!?"
The doctor calmly replies "Nine".
What's the difference between a businessman and a businesswoman? Wo!
There was a guy I knew who owned a foot-high piano player.
He had found a magic lamp and rubbed it. The genie popped out and gave him one wish.
The guy thinks the genie was a bit deaf, as all he got was a 12" pianist.
Why did Shawn suddenly fly to Mount Everest, leaving behind friends, family, and food?
Someone told him that "Shelby"'s coming 'round the mountain.
His life.
I like to eat mom's spaghetti. Now try it with the NEWWWW VEGETTIIII, turn any vegetable into pasta!
An American mother has 3 children. The first child asked his mum: "Why is my sister called Crazy Horse and my brother Rushing Water?"
Mum: "Because those were the first thing I saw after i gave birth to them. Why are you asking all these questions, two dogs fucking?"
I call my girlfriend .05 because she's a bag I blow into when I've had a few drinks.
Yo mama like a penny: two-faced, worthless, and in everybody’s pants.
Poopy loopy.
What are a pedophile"s shoes called?
Answer: WHITE VANS
What is a duck's favorite thing to smoke?
Quack.
Ur mom, ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
I have no friends :'(
My life </3 XD :'(
The reason why Stephen Hawking died is because he tried to overclock his wheelchair.
How can you light up a candle in a ship which does not contain any instrument and you are alone with just a packet of candles?
Answer: Just throw one candle in the sea; the boat will become lighter.
What's the difference between a Mexican and a book?
The book has papers.
How do you get my neighbor out of their tree?
You untie the rope.
Your uncle Jack is stuck on a horse. Will you help Jack off a horse?
Your mum gay. LOL. Funny me!