Worst Jokes Ever
Your forehead looks like the inside of a Malteser.
What are the similarities between an American teen and an old Muslim man?
They both choose who they want.
There was a guy how had a stroke, eh.
He's all right.
Why can't Americans trade with other countries? We lost the trading center!
Why did the cat meow?
Because it's a cat, and they meow.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter what you call him, he isn't coming.
Did you know Hellen Keller has a pool?
Neither did she.
Why did Steven Hawking die?
He lost Wi-Fi connection and didn't get the data plan.
My sister reminds me of 911: one moan of "OMG" got everyone's attention.
Q: How come in airports, they park the planes outside?
A: They don't belong in buildings.
What's the difference between your job and a dead hooker?
Your job still sucks.
Ur family reunion, a homosexual communion.
A woman comes to the doctor and tells her, "Doctor, my husband wants intense sex all day, what should I give him?" The doctor says, "My number."
A woman comes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, I think I have cancer." The doctor checks it out. "It’s all in your head," the doctor says. "Phew," said the woman. "A bunch of tumors, all in your head."
A man wakes up from his operation, and the doctor says, "I have bad news and good news, what do you want to hear first?"
The man says, "Bad," so the doctor says, "During the surgery, your girlfriend decided to leave a message that she’s leaving you for another man."
The man says, "What’s the good then?" And the doctor says, "I’m picking her up at 7."
Do you know Helen Keller?
Yes.
Did you know she had a dog?...... Neither did she!
A farmer walks up to his farmer neighbor with a jug of milk. The farmer says, "I milked your cow." The neighbor replies, "I have a bull, not a cow."
How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
Put him in the microwave until his bill Withers.
The boy ran into the gym, why?
Because he wanted to ketch-up with everyone. Also, he got pun-ishment from his "momster."
What do you call a Down syndrome kid who has been physically abused by older teenagers and her parents for a total of 16 years and has red marks all over their body?
Not funny because Down syndrome jokes aren't funny ;)