Worst Jokes Ever
What grade does Sherlock hit on girls from?
Elementary, my dear Watson!
Wanna hear a joke?
Your outfit. Har har!
To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
What turns a girl on more than having sex with her?
When she finds out that you have a vibrator too.
What do you say to toast with bad shoes?
"Butter those."
Why are retards good at basketball?
'Cause they dribble all the time!
Q: If George Washington was alive today, what would he do?
A: Scratch mercilessly at the coffin walls, while screaming at the top of his lungs!
How do Chinese people name their children?
They throw pots and pans down the stairs and listen for the sounds, "Ching Chong Chang."
Why did Mary fall off the swings?
She got hit by a refrigerator.
A man shoots up a school and then fakes his own death. He then later returns to shoot up the same school. He repeats the process a few times until the police catch him. When they ask why he did it, he replied, "I wondered when you would check if I was still breathing."
It's not my fault my cousin's hot ;) YEE YEE
I have two heads, four eyes, and six ears, what am I?
Ugly.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He lost WiFi connection.
Three guys walk into a bar; the fourth one ducks.
Yesterday, my daughter was playing in the garden when I saw her kill a butterfly. So to teach her a lesson, I said, "Just for that, you don't get any butter for a month."
Today in the kitchen, she killed a cockroach. I said, "Nice try!"
Stephen Hawking's death was simply an accident. He pressed power off instead of sleep mode.
Have you heard about the corduroy pillow cases? They've been making headlines.
Why doesn't Santa have kids? Because he only comes once a year.
Psyonix's OCE servers.
Who's the fastest reader?
Me, 'cause I'll be jumping off so many stories.