Worst Jokes Ever
An older retired couple - the wife had grown tired of her husband farting in bed each night. One morning she put some chicken parts under the blankets in bed next to him and went off to make some coffee.
A few minutes later she hears a loud fart followed by a blood curdling scream. He comes out after a while and says, "Hon, you were right that I would fart my guts out. Took me the longest to put them back in."
How did the hillbilly mother find out her daughter entered puberty? Her son's dick tasted funny.
Why don’t alligators grow up to 15 feet?
They only have 4.
What do you get when you have an annoying kid, a homicidal kid, and a suicidal kid in the same room? A happy ending.
Who is king of the insects?
The Monarch.
Q: What did the skeleton say when he proposed to his girlfriend?
A: Will you marrow me?
Person you don't know, my name.
Why did the plum put sugar under its pillow?
So it could have sweet dreams.
What fruit always feels depressed?
A blueberry.
Who are the fastest readers of all time?
People who jumped out of the Twin Towers. Why? Because they went through 13 stories within 5 seconds.
What had more brains than Hitler? The wall behind him.
I broke up with my deaf girlfriend because she never listened to me.
Karolien's life.
Sometimes I just want to toss a flash bang into a room full of epileptic kids.
Hookers are like drive-thrus; you tell them what you want, pay for your stuff, and leave.
I once read a book on antigravity, it was impossible to put down.
Have you walked into Stephen Hawking's house?
Oh, neither did he.
What do you call someone that is Mexican that has a BMW?
A big Mexican woman.
What's got 6 legs, 3 arms, and 3 heads?
The finish line at the Boston marathon.
I mean I'd tell you a joke about the pizza I ate, but it's just too cheesy.