Worst Jokes Ever

What’s the difference between an alligator and a child?

You can’t abuse an alligator.

So a blind guy walks into a bar, and a table, and a chair.

You can't lose Kahoot if you "kashoot" the class first.

Two men walk into a bar, and they both hit their heads.

I like unicorns.

I like my woman like I like my coffee: in a big sack on top of a donkey.

Don't bully. Lol.

Don't bully.

My grandfather says I'm too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.

Me: No one likes Shrek; he is just a fat green guy.

Friend: Hey! Stop talking about me.

What do you call a fish with no eyes?

Fsh.

What do you call a dabbing cow?

Udder savagery.

Your mama is so fat that she doesn't get crushed by cars, she crushes cars and babies in strollers on the sidewalk when she falls and doesn't see any remains, so there is no evidence.

What do you call a bunch of retarded kids in a swimming pool?

Vegetable soup.

When I was in high school, me and my friends would play with this girl who had Down syndrome.

We would get into a circle around her and say, "Nightmare, nightmare!"

How do you make a plumber cry?

Kill his whole family.

Stage 4 cancer is like a woman. You can’t beat it, but if you do, she’ll probably come back again.

So a mushroom walks in a bar and the waiter says, "You can't be here."

And the mushroom says, "Why? I'm a fungi!"

What do you call those dead pieces of green stuff left in the bottom of a bowl of Caesar salad?

The last romaines. Now lettuce pray for them.

If you're ever bored, kick an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?