Worst Jokes Ever
Why is 69 annoying me? Oh, it's a tease.
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear.
This joke is short... like your dick!
What do you call a Mexican in the zombie apocalypse?
Answer: "Sweet and spicy chicken."
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Knock, knock." "Knock, knock who?" "Can you let me in now?"
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Madam.
Madam who?
Madam foot got caught in the door, can you please open it!
A man from France, a man from Britain, and a man from New York are on an expedition to the Amazon Forest. After a while, they get lost. As they are walking, suddenly the bushes jump up into the air and men with spears are there. One man says, "Hey, you're in our sacred land. So what we are going to do is skin you and then use your flesh to make canoes. But we aren't that crazy, so we will let you choose how you die."
The man from France said, "Bring me the poison."
The man from Britain said, "Bring me the gun."
And the man from New York said, "Bring me a fork."
The guy was confused with the fork but still brought the items and gave them to them.
The guy from France said, "For France!" And drank the poison and died.
The man from Britain said, "Long live the queen!" And shot himself and died.
And the man from New York started stabbing himself with the fork and said, "Make a canoe out of this, you fuckers!"
What do Indian hip hop artists eat?
Rice rice baby.
I was going to write a corny joke, but those are a bit too EAR-itating.
Communism jokes aren't funny unless everyone gets it.
What do you say to a woman who is completely beaten up on her face, full of bruises, and has a broken jaw?
"Will you listen now?!??"
A woman walks into a supermarket and sees a blind man swinging a dog around in the air. So, the woman walks up to him and asks, "What are you doing?" The man says, "Just having a look around."
"Hey, today was great."
"What happened?"
"I ran into my ex today."
"What's so great about that?"
"I was in my car."
My mom is the jelly, and my dad is the peanut butter. And I am the bread, the only thing keeping them together.
What’s the difference between a living and dead person?
I don’t know, I just bury the coffin.
Birthdays are weird. We celebrate being one year closer to dying. And we celebrate it with friends and family, which is totally not how we'll die.
We're all gonna die alone, not surrounded by friends and family.
What’s the best thing about fucking twenty-eight year olds?
There’s twenty of them!
What's the difference between you and Jesus? Your parents remember Jesus's birth date.
If an illegal immigrant fights against a child molester, would that be "Alien vs Predator"?
We need more women in the military! They can bleed for weeks and still not die!