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A father and a son were painting pictures together. The son and father were drawing the exact same thing to a T, and the son said, "What happened to your hand?" looking at the scar tissue near the father's knuckle. The father replied with, "You know what happened, you were there." The son continues to deny this until they both finish their paintings. They're exactly the same.
The father passes out for a few hours and wakes up to find that there's only one painting.
What do Catholic priests and JCPenny's have in common?
Little boys' pants half off.
What does Donald Trump say when he declares war? Nuke them.
What does a pervert say when he declares war? Nude them.
What's the difference between George Bush and Donald Trump?
One is into airline security, and one is into wall, turrets, and rockets.
What's the similarity between George Bush and Donald Trump?
It just doesn't work...
Where do you take Stephen Hawking when he dies?
The Apple repair store.
Aren't paraplegics just plegics that can fly?
I am Wayde, I like ranga balls, please cum in my ass.
KSI driving ability.
What are Mexicans' favorite sport?
Cross-country
What are Mexicans' favorite sport?
Person 1: I heard oxygen and magnesium went on a date.
Person 2: OMg!
Oxygen and potassium went on a date. I heard it was OK.
I would say a good joke, but all the good ones Argon.
9/11
I was talking to a beaver about my life. I don't think he really gave a dam about it at all.
What's the difference between an ISIS training center and a school?
I don't know, I just fly the drone.
What is a pirate's favorite letter?
A letter from his family; he hadn't seen them in years.
I'm dead! 😂💀💀
I got some new jeans yesterday, until I realized they didn't fit me around the waist, so I went looking for a belt. I couldn't find one. Then I had a really good idea. I could attach a ton of watches together to make a belt! But then I just thought it was a waste of time.
