Worst Jokes Ever
Why did the man die of the actor's performance?
The performance was unbeLIVEable!
What type of flour do you buy an orphan? Self-raising.
Little boy: Are you an orphan?
Orphan: Yes, what gave me away?
Little boy: Your parents.
Why do I only date orphans?
Because they never have daddy issues.
There is an upside to being an orphan. Every bag of chips is family size.
Never trust a donkey; they are always full of shit.
What's the difference between a yandere and a gun?
Nothing.
Flip them off the wrong way and you're dead.
Sans: Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?
Papyrus: Because they looked like me?
Sans: ... Sure.
How do you make holy water?
You take it to church ⛪️
Why does Santa not have any children?
He only cums once a year.
My cousin died last week. He needed a blood transfusion, but we didn't know his blood type. He just kept saying, "B positive, B positive," but it's hard to be positive with him gone.
What is a necrophiliac's favorite candy? A Hearsey's Kiss.
Seriously, who wants dicks?
I LOVE BIG HAIRY DICKS!
Why did the electron leave the atom?
Because it wanted to be Argon.
Why did the electron leave the atom?
Because it had its ion someone else.
How did you get Sally into a blender?
- Without much resistance.
How do you get Sally out of a blender?
- Tortilla chips.
My friend tried to sleep on napkins.
I guess that's why they're called NAP-kins.
What do McDonald's and priests have in common?
They both stick their meat in 10 year old buns.
Where did Janet go during the bombing? Everywhere.