Worst Jokes Ever
What did grandpa say before he died in the hospital bed?
"Boy, could you put my phone on charging?"
What's Al Qaeda's favorite football team?
New York Jets.
"Bippidy boppidy boo! Bill Cosby is coming for you!"
When was the first Black Friday?
1619.
A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.
Three years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says: “What the hell was that all about?”
What's the difference between Hitler and a feminist?
At least Hitler actually did something.
What do people say to knights when they go to bed? Good knight!
My family is like a cactus; a bunch of pricks.
Why did the kid fall off the swing? He had no arms.
What is a necrophiliac's favorite band?
Coldplay.
Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
The cabinet had sleeping pills.
I heard a joke about candy bars, but it wasn't very funny, so I just snickered.
Where does a pianist go on vacation?
The Florida Keys.
A Mexican was doing a magic trick. He said, "uno, dos," then disappeared without a trace.
What’s black, white, and red all over?
An ethnic orgy.
I asked the doctor doing my prostate exam where I should put my pants. "Next to mine" was not the answer I was expecting.
Pussy = drugs.
How is an orphan like a boomerang?
They always come back!
An Irish-man walks out of a bar.
What's a school shooter's favorite anime?
Assassination Classroom.