Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call someone with an extra chromosome winning in a pool?
Posiedown.
What did Jenny get for her birthday after a car accident?
An amputation.
Why did Billy drop his ice cream?
'Cause he got hit by a bus.
What's the difference between McDonald's and a priest?
Nothing... They both stick their meat in ten-year-old buns.
Do you know why I don't like stairs? They are always up to something. #dadjokes
Have you tried eating a clock?
It's time-consuming!
How does a turkey drive a car? He wings it.
What do you call a fish that can use a katana?
A salmon-rai.
Dear algebra,
I don't want to find your X. I don't know Y she left you.
Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field.
Someone asked me what the worst mistake you could make while being at work was, and I replied, "Being a doctor and mixing up the oral and rectal thermometers."
My happiness.
What's worse than 10 babies nailed to one tree?
One baby nailed to 10 trees.
A Blonde walks into a hospital claiming that everywhere she touches hurts. So she goes into the examination room and the doctor says, "Okay, I'd like you to point to wherever it hurts." So the Blonde pokes her cheek and says, "Here. Ow." She then pokes her arm and says, "Here. Ow." She then repeats this with different parts of her body until the doctor finally says that she should stop.
The doctor says, "I know what's happened to you." "What's happened to me?" The Blonde says, concerned. The doctor simply replies, "You have a broken finger."
So there's this uncle of female and male twins, and his sister, the mother of the twins, is stuck trying to think of a name for the children. The uncle says, "I've got an idea!", and the mother gets excited, thinking this could be it. She says, "What should their names be?"
The uncle replies, "Well for your daughter, Denise." "That's a nice name," comments the mother, "but what about my son?" The uncle simply replies, "Denephew".
What did the blind man say on Christmas?
"I can feel your presents!"
Is it just me, or are magnets really attractive?
If you read this, your life is a joke.
Digging stuff up is too hard.
I guess necrophilia isn’t for everybody.
I'd tell you a joke about unemployed people, but none of them work.