Worst Jokes Ever
Time heals all wounds.
Unless you have AIDS, when time kills you slowly and painfully.
What is the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
When you slap a mosquito, it stops sucking you.
When I grow up, I wanna be like Lil Peep... Dead.
A Roman walks into a bar and orders a martinus. The bartender says, "Don't you mean a Martini?" The Roman then says, "Look, if I want a double, I'll ask for one."
If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong.
Thing to say during sex, "grab his dick and twist it!"
Your mama is so fat that when she wears yellow, kids run after her thinking they missed the school bus.
Your mama is so stupid, she bought tickets for Xbox Live.
Your mama is so stupid, she went to the dentist to get a Bluetooth.
Your mama is so stupid that when she heard drinks were on the house, she grabbed a ladder.
Why is Santa's sack so big?
He only comes once a year.
You know the drill, but do you know the hammer? Hah, nailed that one.
But I also think I screwed it up.
Hey, you wanna hear something funny?
An atom makes up everything. Half of this site contains this joke. Don't trust the internet, kids.
My boyfriend recently asked me to suck his cock. I was kinda nervous because I’ve never tasted a dick, but he said it doesn’t taste that bad, so I’ll give it a shot.
What is the best thing about being buried alive or burning to death?
No funeral costs.
I want to die like my grandpa, with a blindfold and a wet sponge on his head.
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
You can unscrew a light bulb.
Three people died and went to Hell. One of them is from America, the second guy is from Germany, and the third guy is from Afghanistan. The devil lets each person make a phone call to their loved ones in the country they came from, but they will be charged. The American spends 10 minutes on the phone and is charged $20. The German spends 12 minutes on the phone and is charged $24. The man from Afghanistan spends half an hour on the phone and is charged nothing. The other two guys asked the devil why. The devil responded: "Local calls are free."
Why do Indians marry cows? Because they bathe in milk.
How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Are you kidding? Feminists can’t change anything.