Worst Jokes Ever

How do you get an emo out of a tree? You cut the rope.

Read this:

Crack

What did you think of? A window crack or the drug?

One day a woman met with a man behind an abandoned shop.

The man asked for some crack.

The woman turned around and said, "Here."

That's where the crack was, you guessed it.

The next day, she wiped it clean, ready for the next guest who "wanted crack."

What is the difference between light and hard? You can go to sleep with a light on.

My new girlfriend is a porn star. She would probably kill me if she found out.

Francis Pope, Donald Trump, Barack Obama, and a little boy were on a falling airplane. There were 3 parachutes. Donald Trump grabs the first parachute and jumps off the plane saying, “The world needs my leadership!” Barack Obama grabs a parachute and says, “I need to help make choices for our world,” so he jumps off the plane. At this point, the Pope and the little boy are on the plane. The Pope says to the boy, “take the last parachute, I am too old and I’m going to die soon one day.” The little boy says, “actually there are two, you see, Donald Trump took my backpack.”

I am only familiar with 25 letters of the alphabet.

I don't know why.

You look like a burger.

What do you call the 10th hole on a military golf course?

Ten-putt!

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I say 1, 2, 3, all the kids bullied me, but now they're not so cool, cuz I shot up the school.

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"Guess what my wife left in the freezer?"

"Her miscarriage."

What do bitches say?

"FUCK ALL YA NASTY BITCHES!"

I don't get why cancer is so hard to beat. I'm already on stage 4.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall?

One, if you throw it hard enough.

A skeleton walks into a bar and said it takes "backbone" to mess with me, and if you try to insult me, I have thick skin.

I am about to make a joke about cake. You butter believe it.

I like plants, but then I decided to turn over a new leaf and branch out.

Knock knock. Who's there? Cows go. Cows go who? No silly, cows go moo!