Worst Jokes Ever
I wondered why the pitcher hadn’t pitched the ball yet.
Then it hit me.
Titanic jokes sink in. Pun intended.
A little girl and a little boy are taking a bath together when the little girl looks down and asks, "What's that?" The little boy says, "That's my little red race car." 10 minutes later, the boy looks down and asks, "What's that?" The little girl says, "That's my little red race car garage."
So later that night the boy asks the little girl if he can put his little red race car in her little red race car garage. She says yes, and they pull down their pants and the boy tries putting his little red race car in her garage, but it won't fit. Downstairs, the mother hears an ear-piercing scream and runs upstairs, flips on the lights, and sees blood on the floor. The mother asks, "What happened?" The little girl says, "We tried putting his car in my garage and it wouldn't fit, so I cut the back wheels off."
What do you call an infant with no legs?
Ground beef.
How did the skeleton know it was gonna rain?
If you said he felt it in his bones, you're wrong. He watched the weather forecast.
How did Steven Hawking die?
He lost internet connection.
Depression is like having anxiety, but with more voices.
What's the difference between a PC and a 6 year old? I don't have to clean out my PC.
What is a redneck's favorite sock?
A red sock.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she is a dumb b*tch!
John Cena once insulted Chuck Norris. That's why we can't see him anymore.
How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They'll just arrest the bulb for being broke and beat the room for being dark.
What fish sings?
A tuna.
What do you get when you cross an eagle with a lion?
A griffin.
I want to thank all the sidewalks out there for keeping me off the street.
I need to go to the tailor, or so it seams.
I need to get new shoes; one of these isn’t right.
My dad and I were talking and my cat left the room.
So I said, "I guess she wasn't feline it."
My dad said, "You've got to be kitten me, that was purrfect!"
I said, "Literally."
This isn't a joke, just an American back-to-school list.
1. Pencils
2. Binders
3. Paper
4. Pencil sharpener.
What, did you think I was going to make a school shooter joke?
Highest level of insult by a girl by seeing a guy's dick:
"I can shit bigger logs than that thing of your's" 🤣