Worst Jokes Ever
I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't find any.
"Déjà moo": The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love, and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
So, there were kids in the bus, and half of them were white, and the other half was black.
All the kids wanted to sit at the back, so the bus driver said to all the kids, "Stop fighting. From now on, everyone is now green." So, the bus driver said to all the kids, "Dark green go to the front, and light green at the back."
What do you call a Mexican that lost his car?
Carlost.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Fuck. Fuck who? What, are you kidding me? I just wanted to tell you a joke!
If I were to not eat the last biscuit, I would feel "crumby."
A man walks into the library. “Hello ma’am, I’d like to borrow a book about committing suicide.” The librarian replies, “No, you won’t give it back.”
He probably picks hair off his dad’s dick, then probably puts it in his hair.
Why do bees stay in the hive during winter?
... S'warm!
Are you wearing a diaper? Because your butt looks so saggy.
Guy #1 is being picked up by Guy #2 from the hospital.
Guy #1: Oh man, I just got my prostate checked. It's not looking good.
Guy #2: Why, what is it?
Guy #1: Turns out, I have prostate cancer.
Guy #2: Oh man that sucks...
Guy #1: Yeah, it's a real pain in the ass!
What happened to Stephen Hawking after he reached Heaven?
Nothing yet. He is still struggling to get up the stairway to Heaven.
What’s the difference between a zit and a priest? The zit waits 'til you're 12 to cum on your face.
What did the Indian say to the fat man?
"Curry up!"
What did the one-handed man have for breakfast this morning?
Finger food.
I caught my girlfriend cheating on me, with our dad.
What runs faster than Stephen Hawking in his wheelchair?
His Internet.