Worst Jokes Ever

Hi Trent!

I’m gonna kick some gum and chew some ass... but I’m all out of ass.

My mom walks in a bar and the bartender says "water?" saying "we only sell beer!"

Pinto?

If you push someone that's bullying, if you kill someone that's murder, if there is no evidence it's nothing.

What's a duck's favorite drug?

Cwack.

How do you make a baby astronaut sleep?

You rock-it!

What's black, long and full of seamen?

A submarine.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Everything is black, I can't see, can you?

Your mama so ugly, when the baby came out of her, the baby didn't cry. The baby said, "What the hell is this shit?" and walked out of the hospital.

Them: You want some Lucky Harms?

Me: What are Lucky Harms?

Them: They're Lucky Charms, but instead of being magically delicious, they're magically malicious.

Lawrence in maths ;)

I got a job at the can factory, but it is soda-pressing.

Want to hear my pencil joke? Wait, I'm still writing it.

What do you call a three-humped camel? Pregnant.

Tell someone to say "alpha" and then "kenny one". Tell them to say it very fast. Tell them it sounded like they said, "I'll fuck anyone!"

Last night I had a dream of lead, but your mom won't let me tell you.

What is the difference between tuna, a piano, and glue? You can tuna a piano, but you cannot piano a tuna.

(The person you ask should say what about the glue.) Response: I knew you would get stuck there.

You need to play a B flat, not a C sharp, you just got band!

Where do you go if you lost a pencil?

Office Works! They have solved loads of pencil cases.