Worst Jokes Ever

What do you say when your friend has an ankle sprain?

"Damn bro, you got an ankle spring!"

Why can you never find a virgin cow on a field with no bulls for miles? Just ask the redneck farmer.

What happens when you cross a cow and a redneck?

The redneck fucks the cow.

I see some objects over there... oh, never mind, that's a woman.

Why were the people in the Twin Towers sad?

They ordered pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plane.

Can you see me?

Did you hear how Stephen Hawking died? He lost WiFi connection.

You all suck!

Why can't an orphan play baseball?

Because he can't find his parents.

Why did the coffee file a police report?

Because it got mugged.

I walked in a sushi bar, and the sushi chef looked very o-fish-all!

What do you call a Russian prostitute? Slobadown Mycockyoubitch.

What do you call a Lesbian Dinosaur?

A Doyoulickalotapuss.

So, I got a paper towel roll, ripped it, but started to fart when I ripped it off, and stopped farting when I got it off the roll, and then I said, "I guess that's why it's called ripping one!"

A letter to all Math:

Dear Math,

Grow up and solve your own problems!

2x6= DO IT YOURSELF!!!!

Sara's Mom was helping her prepare for her driver's test.

Mom: "Okay, any questions?"

Sara: "Yes. I actually don't know what "yield" means."

Mom: "Don't worry, Hon. No one does."

A lumberjack goes to a person's house.

Then he realized the tree was too big and was stumped and had to leaf.

What did the kid with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves!

Just kidding, he hasn’t opened it yet.

Everyone reading this is gay!

John saw a Gay in a wheelchair.

"I didn't know a man could be a fruit and a Vegetable!"