Worst Jokes Ever
Susie: Ling Ling, truth or dare?
Ling Ling: Truth.
Susie: What happened to Stacie's dog?
Ling Ling: Dare.
Why do ghosts love elevators? They lift their spirits!
Why do lawyers use Viagra? To grow taller.
A horse walked in a bar and the bartender asked, "Why the long face?"
No, "quarter quarter."
"Um, honey, I'm glad you're done, but um, WHO KICKED OUR BABY'S ASS?! I'M PRETTY SURE FACES DON'T BEND THAT WAY!!"
Jace: Haha, I won, dude. You suck at Monopoly!
Timmy: Let's play another game. *GUNSHOT* I guess I won!
Jace: *SCREAMS IN PAIN*
Timmy: What? I thought we were playing Chutes and Ladders!
Man: Could you hold this for me?
Kid: Ok mister! I love playing with a pew pew! Pow! Pew! Pew! Bang! *GUNSHOT*
Man: Dammit, now who am I gonna put in the van?!
Rapist: "Get into the fucking van!"
Kid: "mi gniog ot tell ym momy"
Rapist: "Fine" (Grabs a white kid instead)
So I saw the police. I yelled, "Dumper, get into the fucking yumper!"
Three women walk into a bar and start talking about how loose they are. One fits a sausage, another fits a cucumber, the third one slides down the barstool.
I'd tell a science joke, but I was like, "Nah, it would get no reaction."
How do blondes play real-life Jenga?
By stacking humans.
Read the next line.
Read the previous line.
Want to know how to keep an idiot in suspense???
Idiot 1: Why are cows good in math?
Idiot 2: I don't know why.
Idiot 1: Because they have built-in cowculators!
What do you call a group of emos?
Suicide Squad.
What do you call your brother in Alabama? Daddy.
Ines.
My dad said he'd be back later after he walked out the door with a suitcase.
Who takes a suitcase to the grocery store? Silly daddy!