Worst Jokes Ever
Wanna hear a paper joke? Nvm, it's terrible.
I've never seen my dad since September 11. I wonder where he is...
How do you stop a bull from charging? Cancel its credit card.
Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over a bay, they would be bagels.
What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.
There are two muffins baking in the oven. One muffin says to the other, “Phew, is it getting hot in here or is it just me?”
The other muffin says, “AAAAHHH!! A TALKING MUFFIN!”
What does a 911 call receiver say when they get a call?
"9 Juan Juan, who this?"
A skeleton had a job interview, but he looked messy.
I had to fix his collarbone.
What did one plane say to the other?
"It’s been a long day, I’m ready to crash."
Other plane: "No you’re not, we haven’t even gotten high yet!"
"Brandon, tell the teacher that I'm with Ms. Polack."
Once upon a time, there was a man named Daniel. He was blind and deaf, and he worked at a morgue.
So one time, poor Dan got confused and started having sex with the rotting corpse.
He then came home and thought he was at the morgue, so he started disintegrating his sleeping wife.
Once upon a time, there was a man named Daniel. He was blind and deaf, and he worked at a morgue.
So, one time poor Dan got confused and started having sex with the rotting corpse.
He then came home and thought he was at the morgue, so he started disintegrating his sleeping wife.
1. My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.
2. Oh, you’re talking to me? I thought you only talked behind my back.
3. My name must taste good because it’s always in your mouth.
What is at the end of a rainbow?
The w.
Ya gotta hand it to short people...
It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.
I think I might apply for a job cleaning mirrors.
It’s a job I can see myself doing.
My neighbor is in the Guinness World Records.
He has had 44 concussions. He lives very close to me.
A stone’s throw away, in fact.
A farmer counted 196 cows in the field.
But when he rounded them up, he had 200.
Six out of seven dwarfs aren’t Happy.