Worst Jokes Ever
I just found out my ex got stabbed today... let's just say I lost my job as a butcher.
You want some dead batteries? They're free of charge.
A surgeon loses his job as he botched a surgery.
boss: "We have to let you go."
surgeon: "I protest innocence."
boss: "How?"
surgeon: "I thought doing your job and saving people's lives were two different things."
boss: "Get out!"
Stephen Hawking died when he ran out of data for the month.
Wanna hear a paper joke? Nvm, it's terrible.
I've never seen my dad since September 11. I wonder where he is...
How do you stop a bull from charging? Cancel its credit card.
Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over a bay, they would be bagels.
What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.
There are two muffins baking in the oven. One muffin says to the other, “Phew, is it getting hot in here or is it just me?”
The other muffin says, “AAAAHHH!! A TALKING MUFFIN!”
What does a 911 call receiver say when they get a call?
"9 Juan Juan, who this?"
A skeleton had a job interview, but he looked messy.
I had to fix his collarbone.
What did one plane say to the other?
"It’s been a long day, I’m ready to crash."
Other plane: "No you’re not, we haven’t even gotten high yet!"
"Brandon, tell the teacher that I'm with Ms. Polack."
Once upon a time, there was a man named Daniel. He was blind and deaf, and he worked at a morgue.
So one time, poor Dan got confused and started having sex with the rotting corpse.
He then came home and thought he was at the morgue, so he started disintegrating his sleeping wife.
Once upon a time, there was a man named Daniel. He was blind and deaf, and he worked at a morgue.
So, one time poor Dan got confused and started having sex with the rotting corpse.
He then came home and thought he was at the morgue, so he started disintegrating his sleeping wife.
1. My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.
2. Oh, you’re talking to me? I thought you only talked behind my back.
3. My name must taste good because it’s always in your mouth.
What is at the end of a rainbow?
The w.
Ya gotta hand it to short people...
It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.