Worst Jokes Ever
What does Drake call his rake?
Da-Rake.
Q: How did the explorers get to school?
A: They rode the Colum-bus!
This text does not contain a joke.
Why is 6 scared of 7?
A woman delivers a baby. The doctor takes the baby and throws it, smashing it around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. The mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging “WHYYYY!!??”. The doctor holds the baby upside down by the ankle and says “I’m just fucking with you, it was born dead”.
What do you call a brave octopus? Octobrave.
How can you tell an anti-vaccine kid?
It's only got 10 hours to live.
Velcro, what a rip-off!
Knock knock. Who’s there? Gary. Gary who? Gary a torch.
Yo mama so fat when she asked for a bathtub, they put a blanket over an ocean!
Your momma's so fat, a whale said, "Hello, Mom!"
Why did Stephen Hawking and his wife stop playing hide and seek? She kept using a metal detector.
I'll remember my last words... "Sorry, I'm not sorry!"
What do you call a three-humped camel?
Pregnant.
It was the year 1912. I was in the SS Titanic, and I woke from a dream to think, "I've heard of wet dreams, but is that WATER?"
How does an apple fall from a tree?
I don't know, ask Sir Isaac Newton!
Place a man in a morgue, he'll try to leave.
Place a doctor in a morgue, he'll go to work.
Place a necrophiliac in a morgue, he'll stay happy for a week.
I am never letting Elsa take care of my dog again. Last time she just let it go.
I remember my uncle's last words:
"I don't think we're going shooting today."
My family.